Bacon is the only bacon
In this day and age of a more health conscious society there are things that have the name bacon associated to them but there is only one thing that can truly be called bacon and that is bacon.
Turkey bacon is a meat imposter. It is the equivalent of the fake Undertaker that the WWE unveiled back in the mid 90’s. It boasts the name bacon but in its true definition turkey fraud doesn’t even come close. Turkey bacon is imitation bacon usually prepared from smoked, chopped and reformed turkey and commonly marketed as a low-fat alternative to bacon.
One thing turkey fraud has going for it is the fact that is it has less fat and calories than bacon so if you are a Browns fan it may make sense to eat it so you stay healthy and live longer which you need to do if you ever expect to see your team win a championship. For Steelers fans such as me who have witnessed them hoist the Lombardi its bacon palooza. I’m talking a 2-pound BLT with bacon mayo covered in bacon gravy.
We have established that turkey stuff is better for you so if you want to eat it go ahead but don’t call it bacon. We need to come up with a new name for it. I propose Barry Switzer, it has the appearance of bacon but it lacks the sizzle of its predecessor. Maybe we call it Trent Dilfer it will serve its purpose by filling your belly but leave you wanting more.
Do what you think is best for yourself kind of like they did on The Dukes of Hazzard when they replaced Bo and Luke with Coy and Vance. In the long run though bacon will return to your plate the same way Bo and Luke returned to Hazzard County because nothing else can compare.
OTHER ARTICLES YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE:
- Random athlete names from our Rock a Jersey party (30 pics)
- Dishing out sports awards Oscars style
- This is the most interesting Kurt Thomas article that you’ll ever read
- Guess the NBA salary trivia game