3 Things That Happen When You Are A Chick Who Digs Sports

I’m a girl. I love sports. I’m perpetually single. I suspect these three things are related.

I know what you’re thinking: A girl who loves sports? That’s perfect. Guys love sports. So guys must love girls who love sports. Match made in heaven…you would think. But that isn’t the case. In my experience, if you start off a date saying you love sports, one of three things will happen:

1. Guys immediately put you in the “I wanna hang out with this girl, but not make-out with this girl” category, aka the FRIEND ZONE.
2. Guys are intimidated. God forbid a chick actually have more sports knowledge than a dude. “Did I say I remember the moment kicker Gary Anderson missed the field goal that could’ve put the Vikings into the Super Bowl in 1998? Oops. I meant to say I only watch Super Bowls for the commercials. I like the ones where animals talk.”
3. Guys think you’re a lesbian. Seriously. This happens. I love my bestie, Nikki, but she is not my lover. I would be honored to say she was, for the record.

Nikki is another girl who loves sports. (And she is single. See…a pattern!) We host a podcast together called Last Week’s Balls, where we talk about sports and dating from the previous week. Yes, you read that right. Balls.

Like the name, we don’t take anything too seriously on the podcast. We keep the sports talk light, not because we don’t know hard-hitting sports facts, but because we’re best friends and often go off on weird tangents, speculating whether jockeys actually wear Jockey brand underwear or what our walk-up songs would be if we were MLB players. It’s just what happens when we drink wine and chat, which is what we do while we record and most other times.

But keeping it light is probably better for our dating lives, which let’s be honest, aren’t great. When you’re a girl who loves sports, you find yourself trying to strike a very delicate balance, much like Odell Beckham Jr. tip toeing down the sideline and snagging a pass without stepping out of bounds. It’s tricky. You can participate in the conversation about sports and that shows the guy you are interested and actively listening, but if you dominate the conversation with sports you end up with one of the three outcomes listed above. The whole thing is exhausting and silly.

For now, I can’t even be bothered. I’m just going to kick back, pour myself some champagne and chat with Nikki on Last Week’s Balls. When my teams do poorly, it’s an outlet for my misery (see Episode 7: Sadness.Anger.Hunger). When my dates go poorly, I tell myself it’s good for podcast content (see Episodes 2, 16, or any, really). The dating world can be as tough as the ’85 Bears defense, who were first to use the 46 Defense, an eight men in the box defense that has two players at linebacker depth playing linebacker technique and then three at defensive back, an impenetrable defense that, coupled with the superb coaching of the late Buddy Ryan, secured the Chicago Bears their only Super Bowl ring. But I wouldn’t know anything about that. I’ll just be over here twirling my hair being adorable.