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Five random NFL videos to get you through your Christmas hangover

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The NFL season is in its last week so I figured that I’d go heavy on the football content while it was still relevant. This week I bring you a mix of videos from the cream of the crop of NFL talent: Adrian Peterson, Calvin Johnson, Tom Brady, and Peyton Manning. Naturally my first reaction to seeing a list of those players names is that I love anything dealing with AP or Megatron, Tom Brady is a boner, and Peyton Manning is too good to say that he’s not good and I secretly think he’s funny in his commercials. Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered with Tom Brady and won’t show you some lame video from his time at Michigan warming up the seat for Drew Henson. I’ll come correct. Here’s five random NFL videos to help get you through your Christmas hangover.

Adrian Peterson highlights from High School and his Freshmen year at Oklahoma:

It never dawned on me that Adrian Peterson actually went to High School. I remember his playing days at Oklahoma and pretty much any time his name has been mentioned since then it’s in reference to him ripping off an 80 yard TD run or running someone over like a Mack truck. Naturally I just figured that he was some sort of robot and was just made that way. It wasn’t until today while searching Youtube for Adrian Peterson videos that I realized that if he was a stud in college and the NFL then his performance in High School must have been nothing short of watching football porn. Well after watching that video it most certainly was.

Calvin Johnson hitting a home run during batting practice:

I find it cool when you see athletes participating in other sports. Since they are a professional athlete you assume that if they play something else they’ll still be baller at that. That is usually the rule as in this video where Calvin Johnson gives the people want they want to see. DINGERS! This rule of being good at other sports was prominently broken by Brad Keselowski when he showed everyone that his basketball skills are horrendous and John Wall who threw one of the worst first pitches ever.

Speaking of Calvin Johnson, there is no real question as to if he is the best receiver in the NFL but who would you rank as number two? I’d go with Cincinnati Bengals AJ Green. I hate the Bengals more than the average person but boy is Green amazing. He’s got Cris Carter like footwork and can stretch the field like Randy Moss. Dude balls hard.

Tom Brady – “Hot girls…we have problems too” (one of the worst videos you’ll ever seen…really…but bad enough to watch so you can revel in how bad it is). Fast forward to 25 seconds to get to the start of the turdgery:

At first I thought that this was the worst video that I’d seen since that Charlie the Unicorn and Candy Mountain one. It is like if Adam Dunn’s batting average and Mark Sanchez dropping back to pass had sex then this is what the spawn would be. At the one minute mark they drop “Hot girls we have problems too…we’re just like you…except we’re hot” and I almost lost it Hal McRae style. Then as I continued to watch I started to wonder if this was an actual video or a secretly disguised bad video that is meant to be so absurd and bad that it actually makes it funny. Regardless, these chicks aren’t hot enough to be singing about being a hot girl. I’m sure that most of us would lay the lumber to them but if I can’t picture either of these chicks working as bottle girls at Underground then they just don’t make the cut.

What do you think, are these girls hot enough to be singing about being hot? Do you think this is a real video or a bad video cleverly disguise? Put your response in the comments.

As for what this has to do with Tom Brady, I typed “Tom Brady” into Youtube and this was one of the videos that appeared in the search results. That’s good enough for me to include it. Also, don’t worry I’ll make up for how awful this video was with one that is nothing short of spectacular

Tom Brady – Gisele Bundchen giving Jennifer Esposito the business in some random movie:

I told you that I’d make it up to you, right? Apparently this is from the movie Taxi but if you are anything like me you have no clue that this movie ever existed. Why? Because it’s has Jimmy Fallon and Queen Latifah in it. I don’t know if they are the stars of this movie or only in it for two seconds but I can tell you exactly zero good movies off the top of my head that involve both of them so I’ll assume that this movie is a good as Greg Little’s ability to not drop the ball.

Like the hot girls have problems video, I came across this video just by typing into Youtube “Tom Brady”. Clearly this popped up because Brady is married to Gisele. Once again, it would not suck to be Tom Brady. Also, Gisele would definitely be a candidate for my hump island (likely contending for the last spot). She doesn’t have the youth of Kate Upton but she’s still a smokeshow and I wouldn’t mind hearing some behind the scenes stories about Brady and the inner workings of the New England Patriots organization.

Peyton Manning dropping F-Bombs at Jeff Saturday on the sidelines while on the Colts. Fast forward to 34 seconds if you have the attention span of a peanut and can’t watch the intro to something:

Peyton Manning doesn’t say much other than “idiot kicker”, “blue 32″, and “we need to get better” so there’s not a lot out there to show him in a non-positive manner. Consider him the opposite of Dez Bryant. It was nice to see this side of him as it shows that he’s not a cyborg. My favorite part was when #78 stepped up and told Manning to sit down. I’m not sure what was more unexpected, that someone would stand up to Peyton Manning or that Manning would keep talking smack once a giant offensive lineman got in his grill.

-If you dig stuff like this then I bet you’ll also like this piece about the blonde bombshell Oregon Ducks cheerleaders and their photobombing friends. 

 

Rob Cressy

Rob Cressy

Founder/Editor-in-Chief
Sports loving free throw specialist and yinzer living in Chicago who is awesome most of the time, has run with the bulls in Spain, and is a graduate of Second City's Improv program.
Rob Cressy

@robcressy

Storyteller, creator & entrepreneur. Founder of @BaconSports & @HeyCressMedia. @SecondCityChiTC alum. Usually awesome, always watching sports.
Rob Cressy
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