Add Dan Marino to the very long list of athletes who don’t know how to wear condoms. If you are going to be going elbows deep in some strange you’ve gotta be smarter than to rawdog that. It’s one thing to be a bro with two popped collars that is all coked out in Vegas and go full steam ahead with some club chick with no shrink wrap. It’s another to be one of the greatest quarterbacks in NFL history who has a wife and six kids and decide to practice making babies with a co-worker.
Since Dan Marino is a slightly public figure (to say the least) this has droves of people chiming in with their own isotoner, protection, and quarterback jokes about the situation. Here’s some of the funny tweets that I found about Dan Marino and his lovechild.
Dan Marino shouldn’t sweat having a lovechild. All he needs to do is sign a football and all will be right. Signed Dr. J
— AC in the 715 (@ACinthe715) January 31, 2013
Ray Lewis, two brothers coaching, Culliver being all anti-gay, deer antlers and now Dan Marino. The SB is the worst episode of Maury EVER.
— Krista Jones (@kristaj19) January 31, 2013
Dan Marino is still pullin chicks. Atta boy Danny!
— Jonathan Harnish (@JHarnish31) January 31, 2013
Who says Dan Marino couldn’t finish??
— Tommy Viscariello (@Tviscariello9) January 31, 2013
Dan Marino should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell.Would you like a cookie, son?
— Dave o’Connell (@DaveOC721) January 31, 2013
The Dan Marino story is no surprise, knew the guy was a sleezebag years back. I have my contacts.
— Spenser Shanman (@MrSah42) January 31, 2013
S/O to Dan Marino and Arnold when them mfs Have side Chicks they Cut the Check..lmao. U can’t have an “arrangement” with a Black chick..
— Black Ginger (@BlackGinger5) January 31, 2013
Dan Marino, you motor-boating S.O.B.!!!!
— Moe F. Baby (@mhaque86) January 31, 2013
I kind of feel bad for the woman who had Dan Marino’s baby out of wedlock. She had to know she’d never get a ring #wockawocka
— Benjamin Amey (@BAmeyTV) January 31, 2013
Dan Marino pulled another quarterback sneak.
— Aron Yohannes (@_indecisive1) January 31, 2013
Old Dan Marino apparently is still pretty accurate. Got that tight spiral still. #lovechild
— David Smith (@D40Smith) January 31, 2013
Dan Marino was always known for his quick release.
— frankyarriola (@frankyarriola) January 31, 2013
What the Dan Marino story didn’t tell you is that he impregnated that woman from 80 yards away while she was covered by 2 other guys.
— Ryan Standefer (@rstandefer) January 31, 2013
“Hi, I’m Dan Marino and if anyone knows the value of protection, it’s me.” – Dan Marino in 1994′s Ace Ventura…6 kids later…smh
— I. L. Reaves (@CitizenReaves) January 31, 2013
Dan Marino to Donna Savattere: “On hut 3, run downfield to Georgia, make a slant toward Texas, and never come back.”
— John F Dillon (@JFD8) January 31, 2013
So Dan Marino had an affair and a love child. Typical Marino, he always did stay in the pocket too long.
— Taylor Fleischer (@t_fleisch) January 31, 2013
Dan Marino admits to one more completion.
— ami ponce (@amiponce1) January 31, 2013
Since the baby mama was not using birth control, Roger Goodell has fined Dan Marino for hittin’ a defenseless receiver.
— Mark Eaton (@Mark13Eaton) January 31, 2013
Dan Marino has more illegitimate children than Super Bowl titles. Yet another reason Elway is superior.
— Jacob Weindling (@pollisguy) January 31, 2013
Larry Bird would like to welcome Dan Marino to the Bad Dad Hall of Fame.
— Jared A. Olguin (@RhymesWith_Bean) January 31, 2013
— dianagram (@dianagram) January 31, 2013
There are many questions regarding today’s Dan Marino news. My biggest: Did he wear Isotoners while conceiving the lovechild?
— Brad Evans (@YahooNoise) January 31, 2013
Dan Marino is the greatest QB to never win a Super Bowl and move his love child out of state.
— Peyton’s Head (@PeytonsHead) January 31, 2013
Dan Marino is trending. He was good in Ace Ventura. I’d love to shake his hand while we both wear Isotoner gloves.
— Rob Guillory (@Rob_guillory) January 31, 2013
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