In this day and age we often ask the question WWJD? Would he listen to NKOTB or BSB? Maybe he would choose 3EB (Third Eye Blind). The world is full of acronyms KWIM (know what I mean). What if bacon were more than just that meat treat that helped you start off your day in the hap, hap, happiest way since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f’n Kaye. What if B.A.C.O.N became your life motto; the words of wisdom that gave you direction and guided you through your day as if it were your own personal Willy Wonka? I mean after all YOLO.
How would B.A.C.O.N define you? The best way would be to break down each letter like my man Treach did with O.P.P.
B
There are so many words that start with the letter B that nobody even answered the question on wiki answers. Which word could get us started as the leadoff hitter; we need a Rickey Henderson type word, solid and fast. I went with through the rolodex of B words in my head like I was on the Game show Scrabble with Chuck Woolery and came up with “Be“.
A
The letter A is in the two hole which is key in transitioning from your leadoff hitter to the heart of your lineup. So what do we want to be? We all want to be something or someone. As a child it was an astronaut because I liked Tang. My Grandma only let me drink it once a day but I knew Astronauts drank it all the time and if I was one I could do whatever I wanted. With the budget cuts to NASA it wouldn’t be realistic for many kids to want to be an astronaut. There are other choices as well: architect, anarchist, and apple farmer. I think I’m just going to go with “A” on its own as a set up word.
C
Is the heart of our bacon acronym, the big cheese so to speak. There are plenty of C words but you want to be careful which one you chose. Choosing the wrong one could result in someone giving you the stink eye like a disapproving Mr. Belding. Just like in athletics we are all competing in life not against each other but often against ourselves. When competing we all wanted to win the right to the ultimate prize a championship. That allows you to be a “Champion“.
O
We are at the penultimate letter of our acronym. This is the part where I began to struggle like Lincoln Hawk taking on Hurley in the finals of World Arm Wrestling Championships in Las Vegas. Hawk was victorious but going into it there were two possible outcomes: champion or loser. He gave it all he had to ensure it wasn’t the latter. Our word for the letter O is “Or“.
N
The final word in our journey to live B.A.C.O.N is here. We all have a choice in choosing what we become. Just like our favorite athletes, you have to put in hard work and effort and if choose not to you are never going to make your boyhood dream come true like the Heart Break Kid Shawn Michaels did at WrestleMania XII. “Not” is our choice for N.
There you have it Be. A. Champion. Or. Not. IMHO we all can B.A.C.O.N and with that said I say CUL8R.
What do you think, you down with B.A.C.O.N.? Can you come up with a better acronym? I’d love to hear what you come up with so holla in the comments.
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