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Play-in games at the tournament are a lot like frying bacon

bacon-atToday is officially the start of the NCAA tournament, but let’s be honest, it’s not nearly as exciting as it will be on Thursday. I mean come on, tonight’s games are being broadcast on TRU TV, a channel that boasts such chart topping shows as Bait Car, Full Throttle Salon, and Lizard Lick Towing. Tonight’s games are officially being dubbed Round 1 of the tournament, but to me, that’s like saying any pre-season sport is exciting. Let’s call it what it really is, a preliminary round.

These first two games are much like frying bacon, you just want them to be done so you can enjoy the meal instead of drooling over that magical pig meat in the skillet. You have to fry it before you can eat it, but frying bacon isn’t the same as eating bacon.

The first matchup of the night between North Carolina A&T and Liberty is as appealing as watching that new show where Louis Anderson tries to jump off a diving board. They have a combined record of 34 wins and 36 losses, which is pretty much the equivalent of two junior-pro teams playing against each other. The result could be messy like when you’re first frying bacon and that grease keeps popping up and burning you, but you gotta get a few bacon grease burns in your life if you’re gonna eat bacon.

The second game of the evening could actually be good as St. Mary’s takes on Middle Tennessee State University. Every team in the tournament the last few years knows not to overlook St. Mary’s, and MTSU has something to prove. People are pissed that MTSU got in, and by people I mean EVERY SEC team and their fans who didn’t get in. This game could be exciting, like the kind of exciting when that bacon frying starts to form until perfect little crunchy strips. It’s not quite finished yet, but by God it’s getting there.

Yes, the real excitement starts on Thursday, but to get to a meal, you have to cook it first. Let the bacon frying, I mean March Madness, begin!


John Upton

John Upton

John Upton is a stand up comic from Tazewell, TN. He has performed with Harland Williams, Brian Posehn, Guy Torry, Tammy Pescatelli, and many more. You can catch him on stage or at the bar watching sports at Side Splitters Comedy Club in Knoxville, TN.
John Upton


Father to a daughter. Ric Flair, Tennessee Vols football, and Jesus enthusiast. Ping pong ninja. Championship belt holder.
John Upton


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