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Sports teams that need a name change

redskins-name-changeEvery few years discussion of the Washington Redskins and should they change their name becomes an issue. Is the name racist? Yes. But it has been the name of one of the most historical franchises in NFL history for almost one hundred years and tradition is a hard thing to part with. While the Redskins’ name may not be going anywhere soon, that doesn’t mean there are not plenty of other teams that could also use a name change.

NBA

Sacramento Kings: What exactly are they the Kings of…losing? Any King in the 1600’s who was as bad as the Sacramento team has been the last few years would have been beheaded. Maybe at one time they lived up to the nickname but sometimes Kings lose it, just look at Elvis Presley. Near the end of his life when he was drugged out of his mind and had the body of Jamarcus Russell was he really deserving of his nickname of “King.” I didn’t think so.

Washington Wizards: Grown men who spend their time pretending to be Wizards, also have to pretend what having sex with a woman is like.

Orlando Magic: Grown men who spend their time doing magic tricks, also have to pretend what having sex with a woman is like.

Utah Jazz: When the Jazz played in New Orleans the team’s name was one of the best in the league. Jazz was popularized by many black musicians in the city in the early part of the 1900’s. This is the main reason still calling them the Jazz while playing in Utah doesn’t work as I’m pretty sure the only black people that live in Utah are the ones that play on the Jazz.

Los Angeles Lakers: Minnesota, where the Lakers originated, is the land of ten thousand lakes. The only lakes in Los Angeles are the ones made from the tears of rejected actresses whose new nose job didn’t land them the part they wanted.

MLB

Chicago White Sox: White socks are only worn by men in their 40’s and above. I bet you the only person on the White Sox that actually wears white socks when they are not playing is Robin Ventura.

Philadelphia Phillies: While I admit the name flows, it’s the whole concept behind the name that makes it a bad one. It is just a shortened version of the name of the city. Just think what would happen if other cities named their teams like this. We could end up with the Detroit Detroities, the New York Yorkies, the Atlanta Atlanties or the Denver Dennies.

Pittsburgh Pirates: Grown men who spend their time pretending to be Pirates, also have to pretend what having sex with a woman is like. That is of course unless they are those Somali Pirates that take giant oil tankers hostage. In that case they are pretty badass and probably have no problem getting women.

Cleveland Indians: As long as the Redskins nickname exists, the Indians will not have to worry about getting too much heat for their name. But it begs the question, how have the PC police not gotten the team name changed to the Cleveland Native Americans?

NHL

New Jersey Devils: While I don’t have a problem with the team being named after the Devil, how much better would it be if they were named the New Jersey Gods. That sounds like the name of a team that has never lost, ever.

Anaheim Ducks: Without the word Mighty in front of it, Ducks is just not an intimidating nickname. No one is afraid of ducks, especially ones that aren’t mighty. When people think of ducks, they think of young kids feeding bread to them as their grandparents sit on and watch, not the most intimating image. Somewhere Charlie Conway and Adam Banks are not happy about this.

NFL

Every team name in the NFL for the most part is pretty good. Well, except for the Redskins, that name is racist as shit.

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Creator of @Roblowesports, so if you don't follow me on there it would be cool if you did. Sports lover, coffee lover and yes, lover of Bacon.
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