Al Pacino is elated. 17 years after Any Given Sunday, the rival quarterbacks of the Miami Sharks are finally squaring off in an epic Super Bowl showdown. Well, Cam Newton vs. Peyton Manning is basically “Steamin” Willie Beamen vs. Jack “Cap” Rooney. Let’s explore the parallels of the Super Bowl 50 QBs and Oliver Stone’s football flick.
Cam Newton as Willie Beamen
Horrible rap song aside, Cam Newton is essentially Willie Beamen. He’s the most concrete example of the “new” quarterback in the game today. He’s more than a Michael Vick 2.0, given his much improved accuracy and newfound leadership skills.
Yes, he’s has his off the field issues. Stolen laptops, anyone? But he’s mended his ways and even gives TD balls to da kidz! Plus, there’s a striking similarity between the Willie Beamen shark dance and Cam’s dab. Replace Willie’s ridiculous music video with Cam’s Oikos commercials, and you basically have the same person.
Peyton Manning as Jack “Cap” Rooney
Peyton and Cap are two aging QBs in the twilight of their careers. Both want to write a heroic exit story as their legacy.
Like Cap, Peyton is by the book and sometimes boring, but he gets the job done (see: Steelers-Broncos Divisional Round.) Both dudes go down with injuries in critical games, and both eventually win back their starting jobs from hotshot backups.
I can’t prove this, but I have a feeling, if given the chance, Cap would endorse Buick just like Peyton. Just saying, these dudes are actually the same person. Has anyone even seen Peyton Manning and Dennis Quaid in the same room before? Didn’t think so.
All I can ask is that Al Pacino is seen spewing profanity and throwing headsets as Cameron Diaz scowls in the press box at Levi’s Stadium on February 7th, while their two former QBs go head-to-head on football’s biggest stage. With any luck, LL Cool J will take a night off from Lip Sync Battle to rap the National Anthem.
By the way, Oliver Stone, we’re still waiting for a sequel. Who doesn’t want to know what became of Willie Beamen and Tony D’Amato in New Mexico?
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