The last time I saw meaningful football was February 3, 2013. The day after the pesky groundhog proclaimed spring was right around the corner. That furry bastage is full of more bullshit than Ryan Braun. That says a lot, but more importantly the NFL season kicks off this week with the Champion Ravens facing the Hall of Fame Manning brother. Better than a sequel to Blue Chips, lets revel in the top 25 reasons I am excited the NFL is back.
- No more church on Sunday mornings. God made football on Sundays for a reason. He is not mad about my absenteeism. He is watching also.
- Gambling has meaning again. Do you know how hard it is to bet on baseball without a points spread?
- Hard hitting action. See Ndamukong Suh trying to rip Andy Daltons head off.
- Time to go purchase the latest and greatest Madden game. What what! Greg Olsen better be rated at least 82.
- F-A-N-T-A-S-Y F-O-O-T-B-A-L-L!
- My NFL Sunday Ticket finally gets put to use like my Kyle Orton Chicago Bears jersey. Bring back the neck beard.
- Football tailgating is by far the best pre-game activity of any sport.
- Please tell me what is better than getting with buddies, having a fantasy football draft and talking mad shit?
- GUS JOHNSON CALLING GAMES AND LOSING IT ON A 2ND DOWN AND 8 CALL!!!!
- Cheerleaders rooting on their team and yet have no clue what’s going on in the game. Just look pretty baby.
- I look forward to the Dallas Cowboys underachieving every year. Keep rolling without a GM Jerry.
- Thursday Night football!! Monday Night Football!!
- Pigskin pick em time. I know shameless promotion but it still rocks.
- The Red Zone channel, aka football porn.
- Sunday is grass cutting day. The time of cutting gets switched to 9 am instead of afternoon. This pisses off the neighbors because it’s early but I do not care. I got games to watch people.
- Super Bowl Sunday is a holiday in my house. Here’s to always hoping my team will make it while I am alive.
- Naming my fantasy team is as fun for me as listening to Montell Jordan hits on repeat. Love it. I have gone from the Bay Harbor Butcher to my most recent, Funny Like a Clown.
- Cold weather will be here soon which means sledding, hot chocolate and calling in sick to work because the roads are so bad.
- Beer, Beer, Beer and more Beer.
- I love tricking security at the stadium and bringing my own booze in. Suckers!
- Football season means another miserable Chicago Cubs season is almost over. Thank God.
- The ladies in our life know better than to schedule shit on Thursdays, Sundays and Mondays. #serenitynow
- Turkey day is the greatest holiday of them all. Gorging on a giant, awesome meal plus football games equals very happy Matt.
- Draft picks making huge, immediate impacts reminds me of the time in kickball I was picked last and kicked the game winner. Take that 5th graders.
- Simply put, the NFL is more entertaining than soccer, baseball and basketball combined. We all know this to be true.
Lets enjoy the season and be thankful it is here because pretty soon the groundhog will be coming out again and all of our NFL drive will go into hibernation again. Plus, the Super Bowl this year is on my birthday. What a present indeed.
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