Unless you’re my mom or that girl in the office who wears cat sweaters and brings wheat grass shakes for lunch, you probably heard about Aaron Rodgers dominating this week’s Celebrity Jeopardy. While I love A-A-Ron, I feel like he was too safe a choice for this show. Personally, I’d rather have SNL Celebrity Jeopardy-type characters than reasonably normal people. This is why, with the help of some friends, I’ve created a list of 5 athletes I’d rather see on Celebrity Jeopardy for sheer hilarity.
1. Mike Tyson
Let’s start with Iron Mike, simply because the man can’t speak. How amazing would it be to watch him fumble his words in that signature high-pitched voice every time he thought he knew an answer? Bonus points if he air drums solo from In the Air Tonight.
2. Shannon Sharpe
Shannon has trouble making words, but that hasn’t stopped him from having a solid broadcast career. Shannon is basically already a caricature of a person, so who better to lisp his way through answers while providing opinions no one wants to hear than Sharpe?
3. John Rocker
“It’s about time this dude made a comeback,” said no one ever. While Rocker’s racist and bigoted comments landed him on everyone’s shit list, I have to admit he’d be entertaining on Celebrity Jeopardy. He’d basically be the SNL Sean Connery of real life. “I’ll take Anal Bum Cover for $7,000!”
4. Metta World Peace
Do I even need to explain this one? Didn’t think so.
5. Jay Cutler
Everybody loves Jay. Well, that’s not entirely accurate. I’d just love to see him pout and shrug his way through a Celebrity Jeopardy telecast, acting like he doesn’t want to be there. Basically, it would be like he’s playing football, except we’d be able to see his lack of emotion better sans helmet.
Those are my coveted Celebrity Jeopardy athletes. I’d love to see each and every one of them duke it out in a competition of intellect. Mostly, I’d love hearing all of them struggle to speak English, which is their first language. Let’s just get Rosie Perez from White Men Can’t Jump!
Which athlete would you love to see on Celebrity Jeopardy? Let us know on Twitter @BaconSports or on Snapchat (baconsports) give us an impression of the athlete you’d choose!