Calling all 90s children: It was announced this week that a BSB/Spice Girl reunion tour could happen in the next year! My 9-year-old self is in a state of euphoria. The overwhelmingly delightful news of these two potential reunions got me thinking about which sports reunions I’d like to see. While many quality sports reunions have already happened over the years, I’d like to see what would happen if notoriously terrible sports combos got the band back together for one last gig. Here are the awesomely bad sports reunions I’d love to see.
1. Barry Bonds and Jeff Kent
Sure, these are two of the best players the game of baseball has seen in the modern era. Sure, one is a home run king (with an asterisk to his title) and the other is one of the best hitting second basemen of all time (with the best mustache, too). As individual players, Barry Bonds and Jeff Kent could instantly improve any lineup, but as teammates both of these men had some of the worst reputations around the league. Those reputations became even worse when the two played together in San Francisco.
After several seasons of walking on egg shells, the two finally duked it out in what became known as “Slugout in the Dugout,” eventually resulting in Kent yelling “I want off this team!” And I officially feel like I’ve been inserted into an episode of “Secret Life of the American Teenager.” Personally, I’d love to see these two infantile divas back in a dugout together. They’d make great base coaches. I’m taking bets on who removes first base after an erroneous out call and throws it into the opposing dugout first.
2. Kobe and Shaq
Obviously the results of Kobe and Shaq’s on-court relationship were phenomenal. I mean, who can argue with three consecutive championships and another finals appearance? Kobe and Shaq didn’t exactly rap in perfect harmony off the court, though. In fact, they kind of hated each other.
In the years after Shaq’s trade to Miami, the two continued to trade barbs about each other in the media, but none better than Shaq’s freestyle rap, “Kobe couldn’t do it without me.” Well, Shaq Fu, he did. For the simple fact that Shaq and Kobe are just too ridiculously funny together, I’d love to see the two shake it out and reunite again, perhaps in the studio this time. I hear Kobe had a budding rap career in the 90s. Mamba vs. Shaq Fu? That would be one hell of an album.
3. T.O. and Donovan McNabb
Donovan McNabb broke down on the world’s biggest stage and his number one target never let him forget about it. Yes, I am referring to T.O., who all but blamed Philadelphia’s Super Bowl loss on McNabb. I can’t take these two anywhere! After McNabb got tired and lost Super Bowl XXXIX for his team (or so T.O. wants us to believe) their feud reached epic heights. Silent treatment, sideline scuffles and requests for Brett Favre’s services were among the childish antics enacted by Donovan and Terrell. Eventually the Eagles, like every other organization that ever employed T.O., got sick of Mr. Owens and rid themselves of the controversial receiver.
I’d love to see the next chapter of the T.O./McNabb story enacted in a new setting. T.O. and Donovan McNabb should totally be on Fox Sports 1 together. I’m picturing Donovan critiquing a QB and Owens running into the shot yelling “Remember when we almost won the Super Bowl and then YOU got tired and threw three picks?!” Yeah, I’m sure FS1 has already reached out to each of their agents about getting them on air.
4. 2008 Detroit Lions
What do John Kitna, Dan Orlovsky, Daunte Culpepper and Drew Stanton all have in common? Well, besides not being very good, they all started a game for the Detroit Lions in 2008. If there’s a medal for futility, it goes to the 2008 Lions. I apologize in advance to all Lions fans that still feel the sting of that 0-16 season. If it makes you feel any better, I’m a lifelong Pirates fan. I think that’s all I need to say about that.
I’m envisioning the reunion of the 2008 Lions as almost a “Super Bowl Shuffle” kind of affair. Who wouldn’t want to see John Kitna, Rudi Johnson and Megatron doing a Soul Train Line to Rose Royce’s “Car Wash?” It would be like a collision course of an epic high school reunion and an awkward office holiday party. Can you imagine the conversations? “Um, so remember when we lost all of the games?” “Why you gotta bring that up, bro?” I hope I get an invite to this party!
5. LeBron James and the city of Cleveland
Once upon a time, in the state where Ricky Vaughn and Willie Mays Hayes were born, Bron Bron was the number one son of Cleveland. King James loved his people, and his people loved him. He brought glory to the state of Ohio. How many people can say that? But over time, Bron Bron grew weary. He itched to take his talents elsewhere. And in a not so shocking move, he did, jumping at the chance to play ball in Miami with D-Wade, Chris Bosh and Jennifer Lopez’s posse. The people of Ohio felt burned. They vowed never to forgive their former savior.
Flash forward to 2013. LeBron has two championships. Cleveland has Andrew Bynum. There is no justice! Luckily, Bynum is no longer a Cavalier, and the Kyrie Irving is a stud, but at 29-44, Cleveland is still feeling the sting of LeBron’s departure. Imagine what would happen if Bron Bron were to go back to Cleveland now. Think Detroit riot of 1967 meets Jordan’s return to the Bulls. It’s tough to think the city of Cleveland would reject the return of King James, but they’d certainly let him know how badly he hurt them when he left. Sounds like the premise of a Taylor Swift’s song.
There you have it. Those are the awesomely bad sports reunions I’d pay money to see. Special thanks to BSB and Spice Girls for inspiring me to think about which other terribly awesome combos could make for phenomenal reunions. I’m still holding out hope for that 2008 Lions team Soul Train Line, by the way. How cool would that be?
Which sports figures would you like to see reunite? Hit us up on Twitter @BaconSports and let us know your thoughts.