“Your face, I like it.” That’s probably what I would say if I ever had the chance to meet Tom Brady in the flesh. But since I’m a mere mortal, and he’s a suspected deflator, it’ll likely never happen. Dude has a great game face, though. Speaking of, have you ever noticed not all game faces are created equal? Here are my top seven game faces in sports.
1. Ivan Drago
Okay, fine, Ivan Drago isn’t a real athlete, but you try saying that to a room full of grown men immersed in Rocky IV. You’re going to hear crickets, followed by lots of “I must break you” quotes. Dudes are weird. This guy’s game face is one for the ages, though. Russian stoicism at its finest. No wonder Apollo couldn’t take the heat!
2. Mike Fetters
Mike who? Don’t act like you don’t remember the most intimidating pre-pitch routine ever. Well, until you found out it was actually a breathing regimen to prevent asthma attacks. Let’s just pretend we don’t know that about our buddy Mike, and then maybe he’ll still seem scary.
3. Alexander Ovechkin
As a Sidney Crosby fan, I’m really not supposed to like this dude, but how can I not? This guy is the gem of all gems. He has the hair of a homeless man, the goofy smile of a young lad who just discovered Playboy and the teeth of Woody Harrelson. I love that he’s always missing at least one. Now that’s a game face I would not want to face off with!
4. Kobe Bryant
The Black Mamba will get you. It’s not a matter of if, it’s a matter of when. Well, he’ll get you when his rotator cuff heals. I may or may not have shed a solitary tear after Kobe’s most recent season-ending injury. The basketball gods do not favor me.
5. Hines Ward
Some dudes scowl to intimidate their competition. Hines Ward grins. Have you ever seen a guy smile after being pummeled by Ed Reed the way this guy used to? No, and that’s why Hines has one of the best game faces ever.
6. Miles Austin
I bet you forgot about this one, did you? All gums, all the time. I haven’t seen a smile this disturbing since the first time I saw The Shining. And to think this dude once dated Kim Kardashian’s booty.
7. Eli Manning
No one can resist Manning face. Mouth agape at all times, much like Keanu Reeves in the Bill & Ted movies. Whoa. I heart Eli Manning and his blank, blank stare.
Those are my favorite game faces in sports. Clearly I had to omit a few winners to whittle the list down, but Jay “I don’t want to be here” Cutler, Tony “Meh” Romo and Knowshon “I cry during the National Anthem” Moreno are all honorable mention.
Whose game face do you love? Holla at us in the comments section or on Twitter @BaconSports with your picks!
Send all tips, suggestions, and praise to firstname.lastname@example.org.