During Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Final we created a crazy Blackhawks Craigslist ad that ended up getting some national attention. This really opened our eyes to how stupid people on Craigslist can be (not that we didn’t already know this, but it really confirmed it first hand when we received over 40 naked photos).
Well the stupidness of humanity is clearly on display again by people buying Aaron Hernandez Patriots jerseys on eBay for $300. Rocking one of those jerseys will take someone’s douchness to DEFCON levels. You would look less tooly wearing four popped collar polos with an Affliction t-shirt underneath, the white shell necklace that you wore on Spring Break, a pair of Teva’s, and cargo shorts than you would an Aaron Hernandez jersey now.
If people are willing to pay $300 for an Aaron Hernandez jersey then just imagine what people on Craigslist would do. That’s why we want ahead and put up an ad on Craigslist in Boston offering a free tattoo of Aaron Hernandez. Were there actually people/Patriots fans who had a reaction other than “this is the worst idea ever” that would be down for getting inked up?
Before we get to what went down we’d like to thank a few of the sports sites that picked up this Craigslist ad and gave this completely ludicrous idea some exposure (unbeknownst to them who was behind it): CNNSI’s Hot Clicks, The Nosebleeds, Sportsgrid, NFL on Fox’s Laces Out, USA Today Sports For the Win, and Yardbarker. You are welcome for the page views.
Above is the ad that we created (or you can see the post here). It was titled, in all caps, AARON HERNANDEZ FREE TATTOO. If you use all caps in a Craigslist title it means that it’s super real and legit. Plus, you haven’t lived until you’ve received a free tattoo from a complete stranger on Craigslist so this seemed as normal as winning a free taco after your team scores 100 points.
From there we wanted to ramp up the absurdity a bit. What is believable enough in a way that you scratch your head and say “well, it is Craigslist” yet is still completely stupid and no normal person should believe this is real? Got it. We’ll make the guy writing the Craigslist ad a comic villain artist. You know, because drawing comic villans is probably pretty hard and at least that shows that this guy has got some artistic talent. Throw in a degree from a completely made up University (which really stood for University of Evil Villain Drawer). Boom. This stranger now sounds like someone that you’d be OK getting a free Aaron Hernandez tattoo from if you make very poor decisions in your life.
Since the 4th of July is tomorrow and very few people will be actually working we had to cut this madness short in the interest of getting this article out. We couldn’t just let this marinade and see if we got a ton of responses. In the less than 18 hours that this was out there we received three responses (none of which included naked photos but all showed some sort of support for Hernandez) but one response stood out among the rest.
I am interested in this tattoo. I believe his innocence is undoubted. I want this tattoo on my face. If not my neck. How good are you at this, because he’s my favorite player, and god forbid, you wouldn’t mess up would you? Also, if he’s found guilty- what is your return policy?
Troll so hard my friend.
I’m sure many of you were hoping that someone would actually be down to get a free Aaron Hernandez tattoo but come on. Craigslist may be a place where you can buy a magical unicorn that poops Cinnamon Toast Crunch or have your girlfriend sleep with a stranger for some Super Bowl tickets but there is always a line. For the sake of humanity I’m glad that this was it.
Bacon + Beer + Sports = the Greatest Celebration to ever hit Chicago. Get ready to have your mind blown!
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