Unicorns do exist. They come in the form of hot girls that love sports. We’ve got a resident unicorn on the Bacon Sports team and you can ask her whatever you’d like. Really, anything. That’s why we created “Ask a Sports Chick”.
Meet our unicorn, Taina. She is from Chicago and is currently battling a life-long sports addiction. She is a lover of all food and whiskey, and hater of the NFL offseason.
Q: What’s up with girls rocking pink jerseys? Don’t they know that wearing one is like a scarlet letter? All guys make fun of them.
A: You know what I would rather do than wear a pink jersey? Kill myself. There are two reasons girls give for wearing them:
1. “I know they aren’t the team’s colors- but it’s cute!”
False. It’s not cute. Also, if you are the only one in your group of friends wearing one, that should tell you something. I’m sorry that I am the one that has to break this news to you. Guys around the world would rather you wear non-sports related items instead of that garbage. Evaluate your life.
2. “It’s for Breast Cancer Research!”
Also false. The NFL was basically called out last fall for scamming the earth with their pink items. I know it’s much more than I give, but it’s like less than 5% of the 100% marked up stuff. So it is basically nothing. If you care that much- donate money. Save yourself and your reputation.
Q: What do you think about Tiger Woods? Do you actually give a crap that he slept with all that strange? Dude is still a sick golfer and that’s all I care about.
A: I love Tiger Woods and I don’t give a crap about him sleeping around. Here is what I think about the personal lives of athletes (see: Tiger Woods, Ben Roethlisberger, Ray Lewis, etc.)….Nothing.
I am a fan of athletes for being talented athletes. If I went around judging every single athlete based on who they are and how they act off the field, then I would like 0.07% of them and, coincidental, be a hypocrite. In addition, I would have zero friends because my friends are just as bad (awesome) as these people.
The contributions these guys are making to the world of sports is much more important than any legal or moral allegations, DUH.
Q: What are the first five random athlete’s that come to your mind?
A: Horace Grant. Vince Carter. Ryan Leaf. Tim Couch. Blonde Jason Kidd.
Ryan Leaf is my favorite on that list- because he likes to party.
Q: Is it possible to pick up a girl at the gym? If so what’s the blueprint?
A: Someone just had to ask this, didn’t they? This is the WORST. I don’t know if there is a blueprint, but here are some DO NOT tips:
Don’t go up to a girl mid-run on the treadmill. Annoying.
Don’t try to show off to get their attention. The ones that fall for it aren’t worth pulling your back for.
Eliminate all girls watching E! or Lifetime. You’re welcome.
Don’t take girls into consideration who are working out between 9am-11am or 2pm-4pm. It means they don’t have jobs.
If we have to take our headphones out to hear you- come back later.
Q: Does Mark Sanchez have any chance of having a successful career moving forward with the Jets?
A: Are you high? Of course he doesn’t.
I had hope for Sanchez, I really did. But after last year, how can anyone still be confident in his abilities as a professional athlete? He needed to develop under better leadership, and now he is past those prime development years. He is behind the game and now there is no time to play catch up with the better QBs in the league.
And…I’ve literally seen high school quarterbacks from Chicago Public Schools play better ball than Sanchez. Do you remember this?
Does that answer your question?
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