Average Joe of the Week: Michael Cage

By October 15, 2012June 18th, 2018No Comments

Michael Cage basketball card

This weeks Average Joe is……Michael Cage.

Despite having some decent statistical and career accomplishments, the only thing you can and should remember about Michael Cage, is his jheri curls.  The smooth styling of his mop made rapper Eazy-E look like he flossed a buzz cut.  He spent time with five NBA teams over 15 years and amidst changing cities and jerseys, one thing remained constant from coast to coast, the unmistakeable shine and curls above his dome.  Rumor has it he started the jheri curl revolution in Los Angeles, Seattle, Cleveland, Philiadelphia and New Jersey when he arrived on their scene.

Cage averaged 7.3 points and 7.6 rebounds per game over his career.  Neither earth shattering nor scrub status, but very yomen like numbers from a guy who came to work every day with a hard hat and lunch pail, and a comb of course.  What you need to know about Michael Cage is the day he took matters into his own hands to snatch the 1988 NBA rebounding title while a member of the Los Angeles Clippers.  Trailing the hard nosed bad guy and thug Charles Oakley by 28 rebounds on the final day of the season, he created a personal vendetta and coralled 30 rebounds.  Yes you heard it right, 30 rebounds on the final night in the days of the nothing comes easy NBA of the late 80’s.  There is your definition of ‘going hard in the paint’.

Because of this blue collar workman like status, he earned the nicknames of “Windexman” and “Shaft”.  Pretty awesome.  Later in his career while finishing up with the Cleveland Cavaliers, he continued to pound the paint and garnered the nickname that describes a man of such prowess, “the long arm of the law”.

Cage also dominated college basketball and made mince meat of his inferior opponents.  “Man’s game Michael” is currently the San Diego Aztecs all time leader in points scored and rebounds. Dwight Howard can call me back when he pulls together these types of accolades, and grows some locks.  They certainly don’t make them like Michael Cage anymore.

This was written by newest BaconSports writer Tom Hamm. You are going to be seeing more of his work on here so get used to it. 

Rob Cressy

Rob Cressy

Sports loving free throw specialist and yinzer living in Chicago who is awesome most of the time, has run with the bulls in Spain, and is a graduate of Second City's Improv program.