With AJ Mccaron’s girlfriend old news and as we usher out another college football season, here at Bacon Sports we are a huge hockey house and are as excited as Jessie Spano during midterms that the NHL is back! Say hello to the New Year’s first Average Joe, a terrible skater whose career points total mirrors his NHL 94 player rating, a career enforcer and goon who Don Cherry refered to as a puke, “The Grim Reaper” Stu Grimson.
Stu Grimson will undoubtedly go down as one of hockey’s all time greats in the enforcer category, amassing over 2000 penalty minutes joining memorable tough guys such as Tie Domi and Donald Brashear. What he will not go down as is a prolific scorer, amassing a whopping 39 career points in 13 NHL seasons donning eight different sweaters, numbers only Luke Jackson could look up to. To give you perspective, Grimson carries the honor of a player rating of 37 out of 100 in everyones favorite NHL 94, the third lowest in the game. Arguably he deserves at least 45 for protecting Jeremy Roenick and Chris Chelios on wrap-around goals.
Grimson was a lone enforcer like Fulton Reed before his pairing with Dean Portman, that you simply did not want to cross paths with. He displayed a skating style Happy Gilmore would be proud of, but he packed a right hand cross like Rocky Marciano. The Grim Reaper was known for his bouts with fellow enforcer Bob Probert, making most hockey fights look like Chris Brown Twitter disputes in comparison. A 6’6 bruiser, Grimson was known to read over opponent rosters nightly as a study guide for who his next victim would be, something even the Hanson brothers would be proud of. Grimson’s career ended like it started, with a fight, bowing in defeat to Georges Laroque in which he blacked out harder than Lindsay Lohan and decided it was time to hang up the skates closing out a fantastic career.
No Average Joe comes without off the ice drama. Grimson followed the Joel Olsteen path after retiring and became a born again Christian. Hockey Night in Canada host Don Cherry, the Canadian counterpart to Bacon Sports resident pimp Craig Sager, took exception to this and caused a stir by calling him a Dwight Howard – a fraud and hypocrite. Cherry did not like how a once proud enforcer and bad boy lived the part and know spends time criticizing the art. What followed was back and forth Roger Clemens lawsuits that never materialized. Finally Cherry apologized and Grimson decided the Canucks up north suffered enough and dropped suit quicker than Carmelo Anthony backpedling from a fight.
When you think of 1983 draft class, forget the NFL draft producing Hall of Famers John Elway, Dan Marino, and Jim Kelly. What you need to know is the talent level and knuckle sandwiches that were born of the 1983 NHL draft: Bob Probert and Joey Kocur (The Bruise Brothers), Claude Lemieux, and our Average Joe Stu Grimson. So when you see Matt Carkner or Trevor Gillies land a vicious hook on some NHL punks this season, remember The Grim Reaper Stu Grimson with a LL Cool J mama said knock you out one punch knockout.
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