Beer Jerseys in the House

By December 14, 2015June 18th, 2018No Comments


Someone please bring a truckload of Miller Lite to Cincinnati because they are going to need it after likely losing Andy Dalton for the season with a fractured thumb in their loss to the Steelers on Sunday.

Some things of note with this picture, which was sent in by my man @BronxBomber45. Let’s start with the Miller Lite OrBust 00 Bengals jersey. I like that the nameplate on custom jerseys is now extending to a second row, and as you’ll see in a second, even a third or fourth row on the bottom. That allows for the level of debauchery and sports jersey creativity to go to whole other levels. Next thing you know Kobe Bryant will be announcing his post-retirement plans via a custom jersey of poetry on the back of a half home half away Lakers jersey.

I have to give this WhoDey’er props for backing up his jersey by actually drinking Miller Lite, and bonus points for rocking an orange koozie with it. I may be a Steelers fan but I can appreciate the confluence of NFL fandom, koozie color coordination, and beer.

I’d be remiss to not also give a shout out to the “Let’s Roar” napkin dispenser. Before noticing the Bengals logo in the middle I thought to myself, “Damn, that’s the most hardcore napkin dispense I’ve ever seen. Just go up to that bad boy and tear off a few napkins like you are some sort of crazy Tiger.”

Lastly, you’ll notice in the picture, on the right, there are only two people wearing a jersey, everyone else is in regular clothes. First off, that’s lame as shit, except for the guy working in the Andre Agassi shoes colored jacket, he gets a pass. You are at a football game and you decide to neutral tones like you are going to church or to grab a 4-way at Skyline? Your sports fan card is revoked.

Next, as a testament to yinzers and Steelers nation, the only other jersey is a Steelers fan in a Big Ben. Mind you this was a road game for Pittsburgh so bonus points for waving the flag when those siting around you weren’t repping their colors. They only raise you one way in Pittsburgh.


Not to be out done by the Miller Lite OrBust jersey is a Bears fan who gets straight to the point with his HeyBeerMan 16 FL OZ Bears jersey. With the way the Bears have given away the last two completely winnable home games, in what should have been a springboard of momentum following beating the Packers on the road, I can’t blame this Bears fan for always wanting to have the beer man on call.

When G-Hunt and I were at a rugby match at Soldier Field (which was insanely fun, shout out to Smith & Forge) we ran into the best beer man ever, who very well could be the same beer man that quenches the thirst of said HeyBeerMan Bears jersey fan. This beer man earned his sale by rapping about Miller Lite and doing what we do!

Shout out to Bears, Bulls, Blackhawks & Cubs fan and key member of the first Bacon, Sports & Beer Celebration Matty Glam’s for sending the jersey over. On the plus side for him, at least Patrick Kane is lighting up the lamp at a historic pace and the Cubs are spending like they are the Red Sox.

Lastly, I think this would be a good time to introduce a new category of jerseys. Let’s call them “Beer Jerseys” and we can use #beerjersey. These jerseys have something to do with beer or alcohol. Nice and simple. Since we’ve got two beer jerseys already we’ll consider this the start. I’m looking forward to many more to come.

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Rob Cressy

Rob Cressy

Sports loving free throw specialist and yinzer living in Chicago who is awesome most of the time, has run with the bulls in Spain, and is a graduate of Second City's Improv program.