Better Role Models Than Manny Ramirez

By January 12, 2012June 18th, 2018No Comments

Ex-Tampa Bay Devil Ray and Chicago White Sox Manny Ramirez wants to come back to the Major League’s and says that if any team signs him, “I’ll be a role model”. Considering that he’s coming off two suspensions for violating MLB’s performance enhancing drugs rules and the term “Manny being Manny” didn’t exactly come out of no where I find this hard to believe. You would have thought that after his first suspension he would have done the right thing and cleaned up. This got me thinking about if other players said that they’d be a role model what I’d think. Let’s see who would or wouldn’t be a good role model.

Milton Bradley:

Good Role Model! He has been on eight teams in fourteen years and has pretty much been a disaster on most of them. That being said, no matter how bad he was to teammates, coaches, and fans someone always seemed to give him another shot. That’s perseverance… and that’s a quality that I want my future son to have.

Chris “Birdman” Andersen:

Good Role Model! The Birdman was the number one overall pick in 2001 in the NBDL draft. Being picked first at anything is pretty impressive in my book. The Birdman got suspended for violating the NBA’s “drugs of abuse” policy. In case you are wondering “drugs of abuse” do not include alcohol or weed. That means that The Birdman was really getting down. He also has taken a liking to tattoo’s and despite looking like a cartoon character he still found a way to sign a $25 million contract with the Denver Nuggets. The Birdman knows how to work hard and play hard and that balance in life is hard to achieve. I’d much rather my son be good at his job and also party a lot opposed to working 80 hours per week at a desk job for some company that treats him like a number.

Sam Hurd:

Bad Role Model! Hurd got arrested for trying to buy more drugs than Google and Apple are worth. I’m all for shooting for the moon, trying to achieve great things, and being a baller. However, Hurd was a stupid drug dealer and I don’t want my son walking around life being stupid. If you are going to be slinging that much then have someone else do the dirty work for you. You didn’t see Avon Barksdale or Marlo Stansfield being as careless as this. I don’t know much about drug dealing but after watching every season of the Wire I’m confident that I wouldn’t be using cell phones, doing the heavy lifting, or meeting people that I don’t know at a steak house in the burb’s to buy millions of dollars worth of blow.

Lebron James:

Bad Role Model! I want my son to be able to finish what he starts and be good under pressure. If somehow my future son’s life path took him along the road to being a bridge builder and Lebron James was his role model I’d be worried. I would also never want him to drive a Hummer. Aside from being ugly they get about 2 miles per gallon and can’t go in a regular automatic car wash.

The Nature Boy” Ric Flair:

Good Role Model!  Natche’ was a 16 time World Champion, was always stylin’ and proflin‘, and had beautiful women at his side. If God were to drive from Denver over to my place and ask me if I’d sign a contract guaranteeing that my future son would have those things I’d do it on the spot. His trademark “WOOOOOOOOOO!” became so popular that the North Carolina Lottery decided to do an entire scratch off series around it (with commercial) and every time Chris Paul made a free throw when he was on the Hornets they would play Ric Flair’s WOOOOOO! I can only hope that my future son ends up with a career half as good as Ric Flair’s was. WOOOOOOO!


Rob Cressy

Rob Cressy

Sports loving free throw specialist and yinzer living in Chicago who is awesome most of the time, has run with the bulls in Spain, and is a graduate of Second City's Improv program.