So you are a Cleveland Browns fan and jazzed about the upcoming NFL season so you are looking to upgrade from your current Kevin Mack jersey. Unfortunately because the economy has hit Callahan Auto Parts hard you aren’t getting the hours you’d like and are on a limited budget. You go into the Browns pro shop and look at the clearance items to see what’s there. I’ll break down the jersey options in terms of what is most attractive for this Browns fan given his options. Note: this drill might be gross for most of you non-Browns fans so it’s OK if you look away at times.
#1 Option: Jamal Lewis jersey
Jamal Lewis is the best offensive skill player that the Browns have had since Eric Metcalf. Lewis never made a Pro Bowl as a Brown but he did give them consecutive 1000 yard seasons. That is uber impressive considering the last Browns RB to rush for 1000+ yards in consecutive seasons was Mike Pruitt back in 80′ and 81′. Ya Lewis only played three seasons in Cleveland but he burned way fewer bridges than some of the other guys on this list. I’m sure there are plenty of Jamal Lewis jerseys still in circulation in the Dawg Pound so you would actually fit in by rocking this jersey.
#2 Option: Kellen Winslow jersey
The Browns passed up the opportunity to draft Ben Roethlisberger (who went to Miami (OH), a school that many from Cleveland go to) and instead took The Soldier. He started his career by getting injured two games into the season and then following that up with a season ending motorcycle accident the following year. This was about as horrible of a start to an NFL career as conceivably possible. When he actually made it on the field The Solider was a solid tight end and even made a Pro Bowl. Things in Cleveland eventually soured and he was traded to the Buccaneers for a 2nd and 5th round pick (which isn’t awful). The damage he did to fans with his injuries early on were brutal but he made up for it with solid play later in his career. He was definitely no Saint but Browns fans can’t be that disappointed with how things ended up.
#3 Option: Joe Jurevicius jersey
This is possibly the most boring jersey ever as there was nothing cool or exciting about Joe Jurevicius time as a Cleveland Brown. In each of his two seasons with the Browns he had the third most receiving yards on the team. That warrants buying his jersey as much as being in the NBA means that you can also be a rapper. The positives of this jersey are that he didn’t murder anyone, sleep with anyones wife, or punch one of Lebron’s posse in the face. When evaluating potential Browns jerseys those things mean a lot.
#4 Option: Peyton Hillis jersey
Before the 2011 season when Peyton Hillis was on the cover of Madden and coming off a 1100 yard, 11 TD season you would have thought that this jersey would be flying off the shelves and there is no way it would be on clearance in the Browns pro shop. Get in your Delorean and fast forward a year and Peyton Hillis is now public enemy number one. Last year he was a shell of his former self, only started nine games, and proved to be more of a cancer than a team leader. The Browns thought that they had a featured back and instead he turned out to be the complete opposite. This fall from grace for Hillis is very fresh so it’s gotta hurt to rock this jersey. However, his 2011 season was one of the best seasons that any Browns player has had in a while. Because of that there are most definitely a lot of these jerseys still in circulation.
Option #5: Derek Anderson jersey
A lot of the players on this list didn’t live up to expectations and therefore left fans wanting more. With Derek Anderson he completely exceeded expectations by throwing for 3700 yards and 29 TD’s enroute to a 10-5 record and a Pro Bowl selection in 2007. He is the type of player that came out of no where that the Browns desperately needed in order to become a more consistent and better team. Unfortunately he regressed and played more like Charlie Frye than Bernie Kosar after that gem of a season. His next two seasons he led the Browns to a combined 6-10 record, threw 12 TD’s to 18 INT’s, and he had trouble beating out Brady Quinn for playing time. Gross. Sure Anderson didn’t continue to be the Pro Bowler like he was in 07′ but the Browns were playing with house money. Anything that they got out of Anderson was a bonus. Because of that this jersey only slightly reeks of disappointment, but does have a moment or two of glory.
Kamerion Wimbley’s career with the Browns started off great as he had 11 sacks (which was a team and AFC rookie best) and 61 tackles in year one. With expectations sky high he followed up that stellar season with a Joe Jurevicius type season. 11 sacks turned into 5 (which amazingly still led the team) and 61 tackles turned into 50. He was never able to recapture the magic from that rookie season and was four years into his tenure with the Browns when he was traded for a third round pick which became Colt McCoy (ouch). He’s another one of those “what could have been” type of players. Had his play continued to ascend from his rookie season the Browns could have been a substantially better team.
Option #7: Colt McCoy jersey
Colt McCoy will never give Browns fans as many positive memories as Derrick Anderson did. No one wants to rock the jersey of the young QB that never lived up to his potential and is now being replaced by the QB of the future (Brandon Weeden). It would be like rocking a Jimmy Clausen jersey when you are a Panthers fan and Cam Netwon is lighting up the scoreboard. Browns fans want to forget the time that Colt McCoy was the starter and I don’t blame them. They are a combined 6-15 with him under center.
Option #8: Braylon Edwards jersey
When a WR is drafted third overall fans expect him to be the Jenna Jameson of WR’s, being able to handle as many balls as they throw at you. He thanked the Browns for taking him that high by holding out and then having a season ending injury after playing in just 10 games. He did bounce back nicely as he led the Browns in receiving for three consecutive seasons but he had trouble holding on to the ball. Sure Edwards was the best receiver that the Browns have had since Kevin Johnson but the guy was an under achiever. It didn’t help that when he was traded to the Jets that Edwards got into a fight with one of Lebron’s boys at the club (this was pre taking his talents to South Beach). Edwards was never as good as his one Pro Bowl season in 07′ which makes wearing his jersey that much harder. He is now a journeymen who couldn’t even get a look from the Dolphins. Yes, the freaking Dolphins. Browns fans likely have a love/hate relationship with Edwards but it’s his lack of consistency and being able to take things to the next level that make him so frustrating. No way I’d rock his jersey. Give me Joe Jurevicius’s jersey any day.
Option #9: Brady Quinn jersey
“Now I’m Done” was drafted in the first round and was supposed to be the QB of the future. If by “QB of the future” the Browns expected a 3-9 record and losing playing time to Derek Anderson (a sixth round pick) then Now I’m Done did his job. If you don’t see a 52% career completion percentage as QB of the future material then you would say that Now I’m Done’s time in Cleveland was an utter failure. The Browns used a first round pick on Now I’m Done so him playing so poorly really stings. If he were not so dreamy then he wouldn’t have been as high on this list.
Option #10: Donte Stallworth jersey
The Browns signed Stallworth to a seven year, $35 million contract in 08′. He promptly repaid them by catching 17 balls for 170 yards the first season and then he went out and murdered someone the next. Talk about a poor return on your investment. At least OJ Simpson was a Hall of Fame running back before he went all murdery. The only saving grace to this Stallworth jersey is that his time with the Browns was short so the amount of pain that he inflicted was a lot less than some of the others on this list. However, the dude murdered someone and was pretty much the worst WR on the team after signing a mammoth contract. That warrants his jersey completely unwearable.
So Browns fans, I’d love to hear how you’d rank these jerseys. Post your response in the comments or Tweet us.
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