Sports

CNN breaking news fail. 5 sources you can trust.

By April 17, 2013 No Comments
pti-and-kiper

pti-and-kiperAfter this CNN breaking news debacle I’ve decided that I’m only going to be getting my news from a few trusted sources.

Craig Sager:

It’s no secret that we love Craig Sager. Every time he enters our lives it is pure enjoyment. Whether he looks like a candy paint drippin’ souped up Cadillac that Paul Wall would drive or your Grandma’s drapes he’s always bringing the heat. Sager doesn’t have those days where he’s coming to us live from the United Center and he looks like everyone else. That my friends is consistency.

PTI but only when both Wilbon and Tony are there:

Aside from ESPN’s 2 Minute Drill they are the best there is, the best there was, and the best there every will be. Their show crushes like orange slices and pretzel rods after a summer Little League game.

Mel Kiper Jr and Todd McShay:

They know about the closing speed out of a cornerback from Hofstra so that we don’t have to. We are all significantly smarter for watching them. Plus, there isn’t a time of year when they can be on TV and you wouldn’t watch it. The NFL Draft is the bacon of sports. It’s always good.

Terry Richardson:

If something has the name Terry Richardson attached to it then I’m opening it faster than Usain Bolt. Also, I can not thank you enough for Kate Upton doing this. He is like the Nintendo Power map for Zelda. Delivering exactly what every one of us wants.

Rob Lowe:

So far he’s one for one on nailing the Peyton Manning going to the Denver Broncos story. Those numbers don’t lie.

Life would not suck if these were the only outlets that you received your information from. Shame on you CNN. That’s weak sauce.

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Rob Cressy

Rob Cressy

Sports loving free throw specialist and yinzer living in Chicago who is awesome most of the time, has run with the bulls in Spain, and is a graduate of Second City's Improv program.