1. Greg Kite, 90′ Skybox (Movember Participant) – Greg Kite looks like he’s someone’s Dad playing hoops at the YMCA at noon. In this card he’s rocking the Old School Kings jersey with Boys Size Medium shorts. Throw in a sweet mustache and a rainbow background and you’ve got a fantastic card. The fact that he only averaged 2.5 ppg for his career is completely irrelevant.
2. Rohn Stark, 94′ Bowman – First off, I didn’t know that there were any other spelling variations of the name “Ron”. Why would his parents decide to throw in a silent and completely unnecessary H? Next, what in the world is Rohn doing in this picture? It looks like he is dry humping the air. Rohn’s claim to fame is that he is the last former Baltimore Colt to retire from the NFL.
3. Sam Bowie, 90′ Skybox – Bowie, who is known as the biggest draft bust in the history of the NBA, actually had his best years when playing for the Nets. He averaged double digit points in three of his four years, 7+ boards/game each year, and over 1.5 blocks per game. The biggest bust label is due to the fact that he was injured in three of his four years in Portland (only started 101 games) and he was taken over MJ. Bowie still managed to average 10.9 ppg, 7.5 boards, and 1.8 blocks for his career which aren’t exactly biggest bust of all time numbers. Greg Oden would be so lucky to end up with that stat line.
4. Bo Kimble, 93′ Topps – If Hank Gathers were alive he would have been very disappointed in Bo Kimble’s NBA career. Kimble was the 8th overall pick by the Clipjoint in 90′ and he promptly rewarded them with two seasons where he started only 22 games, averaged 6.9 and 3.3 ppg, did nothing on the glass, dished virtually no dimes, all while shooting under 40% from the field. He was then traded to the Knicks where he started zero games, only played in nine, and gave them 3.7 ppg. I would rather have drafted Sam Bowie than Bo Kimble.
5. Bobby Hebert, 89′ Sports Illustrated for Kids – I’m not sure why I decided that this was a valuable card/cutout to own but apparently I thought that Bobby Ay-bear was awesome. In 89′ Hebert was a very mediocre QB which makes me question why SI would give him a card. As a 9 year old you are very impressionable so this probably led to more than one kid becoming a huge Bobby Hebert fan. He promptly rewarded everyone by leading the Saints to a 6-7 record as a starter, he threw for 2600 yards and as many INT’s as TD’s (15). Thanks for ruining America’s Youth SI for Kids.
6. Pete Chilcutt, 93′ Topps – From the back of his card “Even as a collegian, Chilcutt was a non-star who optimized his abilities with hard work and instinct. He’s assume the same identity in the NBA, where he earns minutes with a reliable mid-range jumper and dogged defense”. Topps sure did their best to make Chilcutt sound like the least skilled NBA player ever.