Draft. Resign. Cut. – Never Won an NBA Title

By December 21, 2011June 18th, 2018No Comments

Charles Barkey. Karl Malone. Patrick Ewing

We would draft Karl Malone, resign Charles Barkley, and cut Patrick Ewing.

These three players are about as equal as it comes. You can look at the numbers but aside from Malone scoring slightly more points per game there isn’t going to be a ton that differentiates one from another. This is straight preference.

Scottie Pippen once said, “The Mailman doesn’t deliver on Sundays”. You can score 36,000 points like Malone did but if you can’t get it done in the clutch then it’s all for not. Sure these other two aren’t exactly Michael Jordan when it comes to being clutch (especially not Ewing) but that quote has already resonated with me. Because of this we’ll draft Karl Malone and enjoy the plethora of points that he’ll give us.

The Mound Round of Rebound“. That’s the type of nickname that we love and will definitely put fans in the seats. He was not a role model but we don’t want him to be. We just want to see thunderous dunks by an undersized forward that gets the fans jumping. He did more with less and is the type of player that opposing fans love to hate. We love that and that’s why we’d resign him.

Normally you’d think that you’d want to build around a center but not in this instance. Ewing never had a nickname in the NBA that stuck. Jordan had one. Dominique. David Robinson. Pretty much anyone who is even remotely good gets a nickname when they get to the NBA. ┬áNot Ewing. That really says something considering that Fred Hoiberg (the Mayor) has one. Expectations were higher for Ewing coming out of college than either Barkley or Malone yet Ewing was the one who delivered least. That’s why we have to cut him.

Rob Cressy

Rob Cressy

Sports loving free throw specialist and yinzer living in Chicago who is awesome most of the time, has run with the bulls in Spain, and is a graduate of Second City's Improv program.