Terribly Awesome Basketball Card: Dwayne Schintzius

By December 21, 2013June 18th, 2018No Comments

dwayne-schintzius-upper-deck-cardFeast your eyes on one of the top five mullets in sports history. The career of Dwayne Schintzius (good luck with that pronunciation) was defined by this mullet, which earned the nickname “the lobster.” Let me make that clear. The hair itself earned the nickname, not the man. During a standout college career at University of Florida, the seven-footer found himself suspended for a frat house fight. One of the conditions of his return to the team was shaving the mullet. Dwayne ultimately quit the team. Count Spurs GM Brandon Bass as another hater of his 1990 first round pick’s hairstyle. Bass’s request for Schintzius to cut his hair was actually fulfilled, but Dwayne had the last laugh when he put the hair clippings in an envelope and mailed them to his GM.

Schintzius retired after just eight seasons, but can you blame him? After all of the money made from his billboard hit “Achy Breaky Heart” under the stage name Billy Ray Cyrus, why would Dwayne continue to ride the pine in the NBA? Legend has it, his daughter gained her penchant for sticking her tongue out by watching Michael Jordan dunk over her father. Oh wait, this isn’t the same guy?

Other Dwayne Schintzius fun facts:

  • Dwayne played the role of a New York Knick in the movie Eddie starring Whoopi Goldberg.
  • Dwayne was a witness in the trial of Jayson William over the shooting death of his limo driver. Schintzius testified that he had seen Williams shoot his own dog.

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Jim Gruseck

Jim Gruseck

Jim is a life-long hoops junkie and fan of Pittsburgh sports. He can still be found in the Steel City pursuing creative endeavors in writing and music, when he's not traveling the world or stacking donkeys at the poker tables.