Professional Wrestling has been around since the nineteenth century. It was a originally a form of entertainment in Europe before catching on to the carnival scene in North America. Vince McMahon, along with his prior competitors, molded pro wrestling into the entertainment juggernaut it is today. Pro Wrestling really took off with the arrival of Hulk Hogan in the World Wrestling Federation in 1983. From there, Wrestlemania was born and the Territory Era disappeared. This new era of pro wrestling was highlighted by flashy in-ring performers, bad to the bone heels, and charismatic managers as far as the eye could see.
With Hulk Hogan at the top of the card headlining every Wrestlemania from I to VIII (with the exception of IV), the guys who were next in line had hilarious jobs, stupid haircuts, bright face paint, or were straight up freaks of nature. You could turn on WWF Superstars on a Saturday morning and see a voodoo doctor fighting a police officer, a team of high flying blonds taking on a pair of Lord Humungus look-a-likes, or a funeral director clashing with a sumo champion. Whatever the ridiculous character was, the WWF caught your eye and hasn’t let go of it for decades.
When you think about some of the less than major players in the late 1980s World Wrestling Federation, what spot on your fantasy football roster would some of these guys fill? Let’s take a look:
Quarterback – Bobby “The Brain” Heenan
The highest scoring individual position on your fantasy roster has to be filled by someone who is elite, and there was possibly no one man who was more important to the success of the WWF in the 1980s than “The Brain”.
While he managed all-time greats like Andre The Giant, Mr. Perfect and Ric Flair, he also introduced the world to jobbers like The Missing Link, The Brooklyn Brawler and Red Rooster. It was important for wrestlers like this who never got over with the crowd to have a mouth piece to make the fans react, and Heenan did just that. Not only was he a great manager, he was easily the most hilarious character on TV, whether in the commentary booth, managing ringside, or being fired by Gorilla Monsoon.
Running Backs – Ravishing Rick Rude and the Ultimate Warrior
You draft running backs in the early rounds because they create a foundation for your team. They are supposed to be your steadiest performers and provide you with a chance for success week in and week out.
Leading up to the Ultimate Warrior’s run with the WWF Championship after Wrestlemania VI, he was entangled in the best feud of his entire career with “Ravishing” Rick Rude over the Intercontinental Championship. They tangled in pose-downs and steel cage matches for most of 1989.
The Intercontinental Title division was known at that time to be the “workhorse” division, and whoever was tangling for the title were typically the two superstars who were next in line to make the jump to the main event. Their wrestling would carry the program and usually was the most technically sound match on the card.
Also, whatever moronic, steroid induced nonsense was coming out of the Warrior’s mouth at the time was television gold.
Wide Receivers/Tight Ends – The Hart Foundation and The Rockers
Your wide receivers and tight end positions have to be solid individual talents that mesh together as a group in order for the team to succeed. The Hart Foundation and The Rockers were two of the best tag teams of the late 1980s that spawned two of the greatest individual talents in professional wrestling history: Bret “Hitman” Hart and Shawn Michaels.
The Hart Foundation were versatile with the technical savvy of Bret and the muscle of Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart and played both faces and heels. The Rockers were high flying fan favorites who could fight tag teams of all sizes and make matches more watchable than they should have been.
The break up of the Rockers in 1992 (above) is among the greatest moments in WWF history.
All in all, you could set your watch to how good these teams were.
Flex – Koko B. Ware
I just wanted to include Koko B. Ware in this article. He is somehow a WWE Hall of Famer for mostly losing. He did have his bird Frankie, I guess.
The flex spot can be any position you want, whether it’s a front line talent or jobber to the stars. That’s why Koko fits in here: he always did what was asked of him.
Here are my Week 7 Fantasy Football Plays and Stays
Riley Cooper, WR Philadelphia Eagles
He may drop a racist slur from time to time while drunk, but Riley Cooper has become relevant again as a favorite target of Eagles’ QB Nick Foles. With Foles expected to start again this week, look for the rapport these two have built to continue. Foles has thrown 25% of his career TD passes to Cooper, and 43% of Cooper’s TDs have come from Foles. In a potential shootout with the Cowboys at home, I like Cooper to put up around 50-60 yards and a score this week. The prediction isn’t staggering, but if you’re dealing with one of the various WR injuries or need a bye week fill in, Cooper has great break out potential. PLAY
Arian Foster, RB Houston Texans
Unless you stacked up on some late round gems, you probably can’t sit Arian Foster. I’m also not telling you to sit him. The Texans QB situation is about as stable as Danny Tanner around mildew. If Houston rolls out the underwhelming T.J. Yates or rookie Case Keenum, expect the dominant Kansas City front seven to swarm Foster all afternoon. Foster is about as matchup-proof as it gets, but given that he has yet to score a touchdown away from home, I don’t like his chances of putting up true RB1 numbers. He may eclipse ten points in yardage, but if he doesn’t score a touchdown, his day will be mighty pedestrian. Lower your expectations. STAY
Scott Chandler, TE Buffalo Bills
Jimmy Graham owners, search no further for your one week fill in. With the mighty Thaddeus Lewis behind center, Buffalo somehow has a working offense and I’m expecting Scott Chandler to be a big part of it this week.
Miami has given up a touchdown or fifty yards receiving to a TE in every week. Coming off the bye and still salty over their Monday Night dismantling against the Saints two weeks ago, Miami is going to bring the heat, leading to lots of check downs from the greatest active player from Duke University.
Chandler is a great plug and play option, and I’m looking for 40-50 yards AND a TD. You can’t ask for much better that when you’re trying to replace Jimmy Graham for a week, and if he sucks, you get to angrily drop him on Monday. Win/Win! PLAY
Follow me on Twitter @BernacK6 and let’s do this again some time.
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