Florida Gulf Coast is the best part of the NCAA Tournament

By March 25, 2013June 18th, 2018No Comments

fgcu-march-madness-wifeNo matter what else happens during the remaining games in the 2013 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, the best part about the whole thing will be the Florida Gulf Coast Eagles. Hands down.

The only talk about this team entering into the tournament was how in the hell did head coach Andy Enfield score a supermodel for a wife (Amanda Marcum), and why in the hell did she give up her career to raise his babies so he could coach at Florida Gulf Coast? Seriously, have you seen him? He looks like Alfred E. Neuman on meth and she looks like a hot baby making supermodel.

Seriously, this was the talk about the Eagles entering the tournament, not the fact that this was their first trip to the big dance in only their second season in NCAA Division 1 basketball. When filling out your brackets, all you saw was Georgetown and wrote them in. Just admit it.

Bracket Buster is an understatement for this team. Calling them bracket busters is like calling Larry Bird a decent player for a white guy. They smooshed brackets around the country when they beat Georgetown like Snooki smooshes grease ball guidos in a Jersey Shore bar.

FGCU’s margin of victory is a little misleading but if you actually watched their games, it wasn’t even close. It was basically a highlight reel of dunks that was better than any highlight reel of dunks from the NBA Slam Dunk Contest in the past 10 years. I’m pretty sure that a couple of water boys where even put in just so they could throw a few down.

A 15-seed beat a 2-seed, and that’s pretty much as far as people thought they would go. I mean yeah, they were playing San Diego State, but the Georgetown win had to be a fluke, right? Nah, they handled there business again and became the first ever 15-seed to make it to the Sweet 16.

Florida Gulf Coast is a sports fan’s wet dream. They are the equivalent to Sookie Stackhouse banging Bill and Eric at the same time to middle age women who watch True Blood. They are like cheat day meals at Cracker Barrel for dieters. They are like anything that happens on Dr. Who to nerds who watch Dr. Who.

Up next they take on the Florida Gators, who they asked to scrimmage at the first of the year, but it never happened (anybody else catch that statement after the game?). They may not advance any farther, but then again, they just might.


John Upton

John Upton

John Upton is a stand up comic from Tazewell, TN. He has performed with Harland Williams, Brian Posehn, Guy Torry, Tammy Pescatelli, and many more. You can catch him on stage or at the bar watching sports at Side Splitters Comedy Club in Knoxville, TN.