Sports

Miami Running Back Licks His Fresh Jordan’s on Local TV

By December 22, 2014 No Comments
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When the local news thinks it’s a good idea to cover a story about the release of some limited edition Air Jordan’s you know that there is a pot of gold at the end of that rainbow. Usually that pot of gold involves a sneakerhead who licks his Jordan’s. It happened in Houston and it just happened again in Toledo.

 

Let’s start things off with the fact that I attended Miami University in Ohio (the greatest place on earth) and the main dude in this, Paul Moses, is a freshman running back on the football team. Considering the RedHawks went 2- 10 last season this is without a doubt the best thing to come out of Miami football this year. It’s good to know the future is looking fresh as hell in some limited edition Jordan’s.

As for Paul Moses licking his shoe, I ain’t got a problem with that. If anything I think he went a little light on the licking. McKenzie Kuehnlein, who looks like your typical Miami girl just doing her time in Toledo before crushing it in Chicago, appears as comfortable as the back of a Volkswagen. Had Paul Moses really taken advantage of the opportunity and showed RedHawk nation the awesomeness to come, he would have laid into the sole of his icy gum bottoms like he’s Ravishing Rick Rude going to town on a lucky lady in the audience. That would have showed me the passion and enthusiasm I am looking for out of the leader of two-time Super Bowl Champion Ben Roethlisberger’s alma mater.

And how dare McKenzie Kuehnlein not hold the limited edition Air Jordan XI Retro “Legend Blues” one more time like Paul Moses so nicely asks. Instead she sheepishly pets the Jordan’s like a cross between an awful hand job and approving of a dog going potty. She’s gonna feel real stupid in two years when Paul Moses is standing in the Downtown Athletic Club ready to accept his Heisman Trophy and she passed on the opportunity to hold his limited edition Jordan’s one more time.

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Shoutout to the dude in the background repping the Miami University tossle cap. I see ya.

Michael Jordan know what he’s doing and so does Paul Moses. He’s the running back destined to shatter all of Touchdown Travis Prentice’s rushing records and bring Miami football back to relevance.

Strut yo self and look fresh as hell at Bagel & Deli and Yager Stadium Paul Moses. I’ll be rooting for ya!

H/T: Complex Sports and Barstool Sports

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Rob Cressy

Rob Cressy

Sports loving free throw specialist and yinzer living in Chicago who is awesome most of the time, has run with the bulls in Spain, and is a graduate of Second City's Improv program.