Today is National Grammar Day so naturally the first thing that popped in my head was Nelly’s hit Country Grammar. I used to get down to this song and even throw up the LA sign with my fingers like Nelly did in the video. I’m cool like that, ya know.
I was searching to find an image to throw up on Instagram when I came across this gem of Nelly in a backwards Randy Moss Vikings jersey eating a gold g-string. If that doesn’t say happy National (County) Grammar Day then I don’t know what does. That then lead me down the wormhole of re-watching the Country Grammar video.
After just 4 seconds of watching the video I knew that I had to do a breakdown. There’s an endless amount of jerseys and random awesomeness that are just too hot in herre to not go next level on.
Nelly opens up County Grammar the same way I would, lots of hoochies in tight clothes laying on cars grinding. Right out of the gate he’s repping a no name on back St. Louis Cardinals jersey with hat. He’s setting the tone for what will be one of the most epic videos involving random jerseys.
By the way, you can feel the swag dripping from this scene. I can only imagine what it would take to make a white version of this video. The hardest part would be getting that many people plus find a couple of still in good shape Ford Probes to spice it up.
Shout out to the guy in Ray Lankford jersey on the left in the background. This is the second Ray Lankford reference in my life in the last 24 hours. I was listening to the ESPN Fantasy Focus Baseball podcast last night and they were asked a question about who is the modern day equivalent to Ray Lankford? Dude was underrated and his stats are much better than you likely remember.
We’ll come back to this crew. Start thinking about which Bengals jersey you think that dude is rocking.
Invisible keys swag. The rims in the background are a nice compliment to the St Louis Blue pullover and custom hat.
Now this is my kinda grillin party. Slabs of wet ribs, a Big Boss Man sized growler of hot sauce (I’m a Franks guy), enough corn to feed a small village, plus a dancing grill master rocking camo and a “Our Mom’s The Greatest” apron. Where do I set my buffalo chicken dip and multigrain scoops because I’m bout it bout it!
These kids might be 5 years old but they have more swag while sitting on their big wheel than I’ll ever have. I had a better chance of going to the moon as a 5-year-old astronaut than I did appearing in a rap video looking badass.
I’ve already gone into detail about how much I love the use of a Championship Belt as a prop. There’s no such thing as a setting where rocking a Championship Belt wouldn’t make things better. Does it matter that we have no clue what he’s the champ of? Of course not. Only important people have Championship Belts.
There are 300+ scantily clad women grinding on anything with a pulse or a battery and all this dude can think about is the stacks of the Colonel’s extra crispy.
One trend in this Country Grammar video that I was never cool enough to be part of was wearing your clothes backwards. Nelly even goes next level by making it an Orlando Pace jersey. Orlando Pace is one of those rare offensive linemen where he was so good that rocking his jersey will get you dap. You ain’t gonna be fist bumpin some dude in a backwards Nick Mangold jersey. Maybe a Tony Boselli.
What better way to complete the look than having your Saint Lunatics boy rock a Kurt Warner jersey. Throw in an Isaac Bruce, Marshall Faulk, or even a Az-Zahir Hakim and now we’ve got a party.
Get this barber shop on Shark Tank because they are blowing up.
Yinzers gonna yinz in Kordell Stewart jerseys.
Is that Rip Hamilton getting down in a Jamal Anderson jersey?
Dude with an iguana on his shoulder getting some run. Business as usual.
Over/under on number of times I’ve made this LA sign because of this video: 50
I’m Flagging and Tagging the dude rocking a Cubs jersey and Cardinals hat. No actual Cardinals or Cubs fan would ever wear the colors of the other team, and even if you are just a typical Cubs fan that goes to Wrigley just to drink you know better than that.
Oh snap, that’s a Darnay Scott Bengals jersey. That’s next level awesome and almost as pretty as a Jeff Blake deep ball.
By a show of hands, how many of you guys out there have bro danced like this? Hand raised.
Dude with a snake continuing the trend of guys with strange pets getting love. Jake the Snake’s snake craps bigger than that snake. You best come correct if you are gonna be a snake guy.
Motorcycle burnouts are always awesome. Throw on a Rams flag and you’ve got the recipe for a pretty sweet tailgate party. VROOM!
I’ve gotta give a shoutout to the guy in the #34 jersey. He showed up for less than a second earlier in the video but is more of a central figure in this scene so I’ve gotta give him love. I have no clue what jersey that is.
What better way to end a rap video than playing Spiderman with silly string.