By this time I have watched Major League a minimum of 7 times in preparation for the upcoming baseball season. Thankfully I had distractions not limited to NHL, NBA, the NCAA tournament and Bubba Watson’s new hovercraft golf cart to help time pass. There is nothing finer than opening day in baseball. Optimism for your favorite team is at its peak, the mustard and ketchup on your stadium hot dog has never been fresher, and the $9 ball park beer tastes like Kate Upton poured it for you.
That said, baseball season is finally here and we are 48 hours into the 2013 campaign. Although young and early, I am here to give you a Bacon Sports breakdown on my observations from the first 48 hours of the MLB season.
The Houston Astros give zero F**ks. Here is a team with a payroll less than what Justin Verlander makes per pitch. This once proud franchise plays in a park that features a hill worse than Glenallen in center field and a toy train that runs around a ballpark. If not for Bud Selig enforcing an “everybody gets a trophy and all-star” childish rule, no one would know a single soul on this roster- I’m looking at you Jose Altuve. This roster, if you can call it that, is made up of retreads like Rick Ankiel-the outfielder, Eric Bedard and his gas can, and Carlos Pena and his cane. Amazingly the top individual salary is $3 million and the rest is made up of young players only making six figures. So what do they go and do? Tell the world to go eat a shitburger and beat AL perennial power Texas 8-2 to open the season. And the household name of Marwin Gonzalez dropped an I don’t care you have a perfect game with two outs in the 9th F-Bomb on Yu Darvish to break up a record breaking performance, what a sandbagger. How do you not root for them?
Bryce Harper is really, really good and a huge bro. The guy slugs two dingers in his first two at bats to open the season. Now if you believe that he is on pace to hit 324 home runs after this impressive opening, you probably think that Jake Taylor could really beat out a bunt to help the Indians reach the playoffs, so stop it. After a pretty impressive rookie campaign, Harper is being counted on the lead the favorite Washington Nationals into the World Series, and he appears to be the part. Not only does he have talent on the field, but off the field his bro like attitude is polarizing. If not for baseball, no question he is playing lacrosse at Duke, wearing tank tops, and doing what he wants at frat parties. Like it or not, if you have to ask if this guy is the real deal, my answer: That’s a clown question bro!
Who the hell cares about the New York Yankees? Not me or most other people. The club is making new for the wrong reasons. Half of their roster is in the nursing home and using their walkers while robing the Steinbrenner family. All the supposed die-hard fans can not stick around to see their beloved Yankees lose to the hated Red Sox. Travis Hafner, Jayson Nix, and Ben Francisco are on your opening day roster. And now Robinson Cano hired Jay Z and crew to be his agent, so expect to be hearing Chris Broussard’s take on the Yankees and baseball soon. All in all, a great start to the season for this team that is more lovable to hate than A-Rod and his L.A. Tan look.
Up is down, left is right, and black is white. The Astros came out swinging like Little Mac in Punch Out, the New York Mets are apparently a powder keg, the Chicago Cubs put together a masterful opening day performance. Bizzaro World. Yes it is early and all these teams and stories have time to choke like Jose Mesa, but it is a fun start to the season and reminds us that sports are as unpredictable as life and just like Mariah Carey being married to Nick Cannon, anything can happen.
The 2013 baseball season is upon us and we are all excited at Bacon Sports to see what unfolds. What are your favorite early season observations? What are you hoping to see this year? Holla at us!
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