When it comes to sports, some months are as satisfying as filet mignon while others are more like eating dog food. There are months where there are three to five must see games a week, then others where the best sports action on TV is FX playing the movie “Space Jam.” This begs the question, which months are filet and which are Pup-peroni?
July is the Mark Sanchez of sport’s months. It buttfumble bad. The only major sport that takes place is baseball, and it is during the dog days of summer when the playoff races have yet to truly shape up. Plus, lets face it, baseball is boring to watch on TV. I’d rather sit through a painfully un-funny episode of “Two Broke Girls” than watch baseball on television.
The biggest sporting event in July is the British Open, but lets face it, your only watching if Tiger Woods is in contention.
The only thing that August has that July doesn’t is pre-season NFL football. While it may not be close to the level of play that the regular season offers, it gives fans a chance to see future stars play at a cheaper price. Wait, you still have to pay full price and the best players only play a quarter or two if lucky? Screw that.
August also features the PGA Championship and more baseball. Again, two sports that are about as exciting to watch as a PBS documentary on bees.
The month of February is like TBS playing two back to back episodes of The Office. The first episode is from season three and makes you laugh hysterically and then they follow it with an episode from season eight which produces hardly a smile.
February starts off with the biggest sporting event of the year, the Super Bowl but the rest of the month is just a letdown. The NHL and NBA are in acton but the games at this point in the year are hardly must see. While there is some good college basketball action taking place it is hardly enough to get fans through our post football hangovers.
Get out your favorite jersey, crack a sixer of Bud heavy and completely ignore your girlfriend for one day of the week because football is back. While the NFL action isn’t close to its peak, it is just nice to see Philip Rivers throwing interceptions on TV again.
September also features MLB’s playoff races, aka the time of the year where most people see how their hometown team is doing in the standings and decide to start watching. There is also college football where you can start to figure out which SEC team will eventually win it all.
April is another month that suffers from the disease know as lack of footballitis. The biggest event of the month is the NCCA Men’s Basketball Championship game. While sometimes great, most of the time the game feels like the hangover to the crazy party that was the first two weekends of March Madness.
It also marks the start of the NHL and NBA playoffs. The NHL playoffs usually deliver exciting action in every round, while the first round of the NBA playoffs are as exciting as watching two of your buddies play NBA 2k13.
There is also Wrestlemania, but that is mostly enjoyed by twelve-year olds and guys who live in their parents basement pretending to be John Cena.
When a golfing event, The Masters, is arguably the peak sporting event of the month, you know there are better months.
March would be much lower on the list if it wasn’t for the two glorious weekends known as March Madness. It’s that magical time of the year where your gambling addiction is celebrated instead of looked down upon. Also, any day where you can drink from twelve in the afternoon to twelve at night and have a valid excuse for it needs to be taken advantage of.
March also features the NBA and NHL but you’re probably too worried about the academic status of a backup center on a mid-major collegiate team to notice.
While there are no playoffs in any sport taking place, there is sure plenty to keep the average sports fan intrigued. The playoff races in football are picking up. It’s that great time of year when Tony Romo gets Cowboys fans hopes up before completely crushing them in December.
The month also features early season action from the NHL and NBA. College football is also heating up during this month as teams jockey for position to see who earns the right to lose to Alabama in the National Championship game.
December is the appetizer to the greatness which is the NFL playoffs. It is the stretch run as teams make their last push for the Playoffs or in the Jaguar’s case, the first pick in the draft.
The same goes for college football as teams try to make their best case so that some R2-D2 like computer can decide who plays for the National Championship.
There is also NHL and NBA action taking place as well as college ball so it really helps December be very well rounded.
How can a month that features the NBA Finals and the Stanley Cup Final not be great (learn this so that you are a smarter sports fan: it is the NBA Finals with and “S” and the Stanley Cup Final, with no “S”)? While sometimes these championships can be a let down, that was most certainly not the case this year as both series were absolutely epic. Though hardcore fans of both sports are about as different as classical music and hip hop, many casual sports fans enjoy both sports. These games are also a great excuse to go out to the bar every night of the week.
There is also baseball too if your having trouble falling asleep at night and need something to watch. Nothing puts you to sleep like watching Joe Blanton take on a light hitting Mariners lineup.
It’s the only month that features all four of the major professional sports in action. It also features an occurrence rarer than Screech on “Saved by the Bell” getting a girl. Exciting baseball on television.
While regular season games seem to drag, every pitch during the playoffs is graced with more tension than the food reveal on the dessert round of “Chopped” (certainly the Bacon Sports audience is die hard for Chopped, right?).
You also never know when you will witness great players like Derek Jeter put their bodies on the line by diving into the crowd or less than popular players like Alex Rodriguez striking out (hint: every time he is up).
October also features great NFL action, as you are beginning to see the contenders separate themselves from the pretenders. That means that the New York Jets are officially a disaster despite being Rex Ryan’s most talented team ever.
Christmas comes early for sports fans in the form of a daily playoff action. Every single night there are multiple NBA or NHL playoff games on television, which is more exciting than binge watching all five seasons of The Wire. TV clickers often get more action than Kim Kardashian at NBA All-Star weekend during this time, as there is constant changing between games and sports.
May is the sports fan equivalent of Andy Reid at a buffet, as our plates are just overloaded with great action.
The NFL Playoffs, enough said.
Also, college football bowl games, NBA and NHL action, college hoops, and did I mention the NFL Playoffs!!
I want to hear from you. What did you think of the rankings? What would yours look like? Holla at us in the comments or on Twitter @RobLoweSports
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