Is it me or did someone send the wrong uniforms to Game 5 of the NBA Finals? The Cavs be looking like the Colombian National Team on the court. No joke, I had to do a double take after seeing Kevin Love and Richard Jefferson in their all black unis because I thought they were Sergio Ramos and Tim Howard.
Look, it’s not that I don’t love sleeves. Sleeves are great. They keep your shoulders warm and cover a sometimes unflattering part of your arms, but they don’t belong on a basketball jerseys. Basketball unis are all about freedom and fluidity. Sleeves are basically a prison for your pythons. This has got to be stopped!
Here are five reasons why sleeved basketball jerseys need to be stopped.
1. Arms are nice, and we want to see them
Ok, fine, this reason is 100% for my fellow ladies out there. But seriously, we love seeing Andre Iguodala’s arms, so don’t you hide them beneath ugly sleeves just because YOU always skip arm day, Adam Silver!
2. Sleeves lead to confusion between sports
This is a pain point for the sports illiterate out there. Dudes, how are your girlfriends who wear pink jerseys to the bar going to know which sport they’re watching if the players are wearing ambiguous uniforms? Ugh.
3. The tats deserve to be seen
How will you know it’s J.R. Smith when his real sleeves are covering his tat sleeves? Unleash the tats!
4. The 90s are over (sadly)
As if the original sleeved jerseys released a few years ago weren’t bad enough, these newfangled sleeved jerseys are loose-fitting. I love the grunge movement as much as the next person, but dudes in baggy shirts are so ’93.
5. They are constricting and inhibit jump shots
Remember that time LeBron ripped the sleeves off his jersey? Ain’t nobody got time for that.
People, it’s time to take action against this egregious abomination of a sacred, time-honored tradition. Sports fans everywhere need to take a stand against sleeves in basketball before they hide all of the arms forever and make hoopsters look like they’re playing in the Copa America. Who’s with me?
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