Unicorns do exist. They come in the form of girls that love sports. We’ve got a resident unicorn on the Bacon Sports team and you can ask her whatever you’d like. Really, anything. That’s why we created “Ask a Sports Chick”.
Meet our unicorn, Taina. She is from Chicago and is currently battling a life-long sports addiction. She is a lover of all food and whiskey, and hater of the NFL offseason.
Also, don’t forget to check out Rob and Taina’s weekly Fresh n Stunna Podcast. They dish sports absurdity with a random goofiness unlike anyone else.
Q: If I take a girl on a date to a game, I always make sure they’re lower deck seats. Am I wasting my money or does this matter?
A: Does she care about the game? If not then I don’t think it matters as much as you think. With that being said, if it’s a game you want to see or care about, then buy the lower deck seats for yourself. You’re worth it.
Q: Derrick Rose is finally back. Assuming that you have been watching the preseason games, how do you see the guys coming together so far? Any reservations?
A: So far, so good. We did well without him last year, but it’s amazing to see how much he opens up the offense when he is on the court and I’m beyond excited to see him play with Jimmy and Taj. We aren’t a selfish team and I think that he also gives other players the chance to improve and helps them seek additional opportunities on the offense.
If that isn’t enough, I like the rookies too. Snell is a big ass dude who shows a lot of potential and Erik Murphy will be a solid insurance piece in Thibs’ system. Like I said, all is well in the preseason arena. When the regular season approaches, it will be a different game but I’m confident in our chances of putting up a fight.
And Taj added 15 pounds of muscle in the offseason, so that is that.
Q: What kind of jerseys should girls wear? Small mens? Women’s cut? Child size? Or (sigh) pink with glitter?
A: I only own small mens and youth large jerseys. I don’t know how women’s jerseys fit (I have never tried one on) and I’d rather die publicly than wear a pink jersey with glitter. Plus, youth jerseys are cheaper which is great because Nike is bending us over with their higher prices.
Q: How are your fantasy teams doing?
A: My fantasy teams blow hard-core. Hard. Core. With that being said, I basically gave up already and haven’t changed my lineup in a couple of weeks. Before you attack me, please note that there is no money involved in any of my leagues. I’m too superstitious to put money on a sport, so it’s just for “fun”. And by “fun” I mean it went terribly wrong and I’m miserable and hopeless, hence me being mentally checked out.
Q: Who do you hold most accountable for the situation in Pittsburgh? How many games would the Steelers have to lose this season for you to be ok with a coaching change?
A: I could write my thesis on this topic, so I will keep this as short as possible so that you don’t think I’m batshit crazy. First off, everyone needs to be held accountable. But for lots of reasons, I put most blame on Todd Haley and Tomlin (I’m sorry, Mike. I love you forever. Don’t hate me.)
Haley is completely out of touch. Sometimes I watch our play calls and think, “does he even know who is on our team?”. He has failed to develop a relationship with Ben (I blame both of them), and he fails to improvise on offense, or make the necessary adjustments to win games, or God forbid, even get in the Red Zone. If something isn’t working, you change it. That hasn’t happened.
Tomlin recently stated that the offense was the reason for the slow start, which is true, but he is the head coach. If you need to micromanage Haley, then you better do it before it’s too late for the season and for your own career.
The players don’t get off easy, either. Missed tackles, dropped passes, false starts, offsides, stupid penalties, miscommunication on play calls, etc. All of these things are inexcusable to me.
If we end the season at .500 or less, then I think we need to reevaluate some coaches and make some tough decisions. Right now that is pointing to Haley, but let’s see how they do after their bye.
Q: How do you feel about Hard Knocks being mandatory?
A: For the most part I don’t care at all, but then I remember it’s kind of dumb as shit. I think it’s another way for the NFL to make money and increase their fan base, fair from a business stand point. But I find it hilarious that it’s “mandatory” for qualifying teams. Like, what if we decide not to do it? Will you take away a win? Retract Super Bowl rings? Fine us $50,000? The acceptance of this isn’t going to be as easy as the NFL thinks.
Q: Give us three random athletes.
A: In honor of the NBA being (almost) back: Gilbert Arenas. Yao Ming. Hakeem Olajuwon.
Q: Let’s talk about Matt Schaub. Do you think his turnover issues have turned from possible mechanical errors to now mental blocks? In other words, has he psyched himself out enough to begin questioning his ability, and thus, stunting his growth?
A: Before I begin, let us not forget that Schaub has led the Texans to two AFC South Championships. He is one of the better quarterbacks that the organization has seen. And right now, he is playing to save his starting spot in Houston and he has two weeks to do so.
Schaub isn’t an idiot by any means, but I don’t think he can handle this type of mental pressure. We know he has the talent to play the game and win, but the stakes were so high for the Texans this year that he is literally driving himself nuts by not playing well. He is beyond frustrated with himself and that only further impacts his play.
Schaub needs to get a win. Not only will it help with the crazy fans stalking his house, and the deathly looks he may or may not be getting from JJ Watt in the locker room, but it’ll definitely calm his ass down and help him focus on his game.
And if he doesn’t get a win, his wife is pretty great looking, so I’m sure he will be okay.
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