Unicorns do exist. They come in the form of girls that love sports. We’ve got a resident unicorn on the Bacon Sports team and you can ask her whatever you’d like. Really, anything. That’s why we created “Ask a Sports Chick”.
Meet our unicorn, Taina. She is from Chicago and is currently battling a life-long sports addiction. She is a lover of all food and whiskey, and hater of the NFL offseason.
Also, don’t forget to check out Rob and Taina’s weekly Fresh n Stunna Podcast. They dish sports absurdity with a random goofiness unlike anyone else.
Q: The King of Philly, Mr. Allen Iverson, has finally retired. What is your favorite A.I. moment and why?
A: I was a huge Allen Iverson fan growing up. I had two of his jerseys (one black, one white, because of course), bought his shoes for approximately 3 basketball seasons, and probably went to half a dozen 76ers games on the road. I would literally try to mimic his crossovers, which obviously never happened or else I would’ve made something out of my 8 year basketball career.
My favorite A.I. moment isn’t a moment, but rather one of the greatest eras of modern basketball: the 2001 NBA Playoffs. He led the Sixers throughout the post season, and even though they lost to the Lakers in the Finals 4-1, I still get goosebumps from Game 1 in which he led them to their only victory in the series in OT with 48 points. It was beautiful. I miss the 2000’s.
Q: A receptionist for the Super Bowl champion Baltimore Ravens gave her Super Bowl ring to her boyfriend as a gift, who then proceeds to drop the ring into the river after being asked to help dock a boat. Pretty much gone forever. Is this something that could ever be forgivable by a real sports unicorn? Or do you break up with him on the spot?
A: Um, I would never, ever give up my Super Bowl ring, ever. There is no way in hell that my pretend boyfriend would ever appreciate a Super Bowl ring more than I. And even if you had it, why would you wear it? Especially when you are on a boat? I still have a hard time believing this is real. Someone should really go into that river and try to find that ring.
Q: Which Blackhawks player do you think has slept with the most females and what do you think their number is?
A: Kaner, obviously. Because he likes to party. But I’m calling Hossa as a close second. Chicago girls. Love. Hossa. Like, literally, it’s a sick obsession with most female Blackhawks fans. I’m personally more of a Andrew Shaw and Duncan Keith fan, but, to each their own.
And no disrespect to Sharpie, who is physically flawless and an athlete to all extreme ends of the earth, but he’s locked down with a wife and some bébé’s kids so I don’t think he is slaying as much as he would be otherwise. But he still can if he wanted. It’s totally still an option.
Q: Nothing goes together like sports and alcohol, but what do you think of the sports fan who doesn’t drink? I love going to bars to watch games with my friends but they all drink and I don’t (personal choice). I don’t judge any of them but I feel like I’m seen as a snob or something. Am I seen as “less manly” to women for not drinking during games at the bar?
A: Not at all. I actually experienced this last week for the first time. I was tainted with strep, mono, pink eye, and an ear infection (literally a mess). But I still went to the bar on Sunday to watch the Steelers lose to Oakland because that’s what I do and I’m a slow learner, but I didn’t drink at all! I was really proud of myself. Back to your question, I don’t think you’re seen as a snob. To me, being “manly” has nothing to do with alcohol. I have much more respect for people who care about the game, drunk or not, than anyone who is just a blacked out idiot pretending to care.
Q: Do you have any superstitions with your teams? If so, what are they?
A: So many superstitions. I don’t bet, ever, on anything related to my teams winning or losing. Because I feel like it puts negative pressure and energy in the atmosphere that they have to live up to.
I don’t play in fantasy leagues that require me to pay, because that means I am interested in the winnings and less focused on the real season at stake (although, this year that may have been a better option for me).
If a player performs badly, I retire his jersey for a week. In addition I have to follow a rotation of jerseys every other week (offensive player, defensive player, offensive player, defensive player, etc.).
And I don’t eat during the game, only at half-time, before, or after.
Q: As a Cubs fan, what did you think about the World Series this year? Two of the most hated teams in the MLB playing for a title your team hasn’t seen in over 100 years.
A: I was completely checked out of the World Series this year for obvious reasons. I watched as many games as I could, but don’t like either team. I GUESS I’m happy for Boston, because the Cardinals are the worst when you’re a Chicago baseball fan. The only thing worse than this series would be if Philly fans won. They’re the worst.
Q: JJ Watt asks you out. You have two options. 1 – Dinner at Chicago Cut Steakhouse and floor tickets to see Kanye West or 2 – Lou Malnati’s pizza and court side Bulls tickets with all the beers you can drink. Which do you choose?
A: I love all the JJ Watt questions, guys. I really do. For this one I’d have to go with option two. Lou Malnati’s pizza is the best, court side Bulls seats are my number one goal for the 2013-2014 season and for life, and I like alcohol.
#NODISRESPECTTOKANYE because I’m obsessed with him and think he is a creative genius just as much as he does, but floor seats to his show doesn’t sound like much quality time with the J-man. We’d look so cool court side, don’t you think?
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