Unicorns do exist. They come in the form of hot girls that love sports. We’ve got a resident unicorn on the Bacon Sports team and you can ask her whatever you’d like. Really, anything. That’s why we created “Ask a Sports Chick”.
Meet our unicorn, Taina. She is from Chicago and is currently battling a life-long sports addiction. She is a lover of all food and whiskey, and hater of the NFL offseason.
Also, don’t forget to check out Rob and Taina’s weekly Fresh n Stunna Podcast. They dish sports absurdity with a random goofiness unlike anyone else.
Q: My family is from WI and I grew up in FL, so I tend to like two teams in each sport i.e. Dolphins/Packers. Friends sometimes say you can only love ONE team, but I say if you have a son and a daughter, you can’t just love ONE. Same rules apply?
A: This situation hits close to home for me. I was born and raised in the City of Chicago, but when my grandparents came to the states, they did so for work in the steel mills. So although I have never lived in Pittsburgh, my ties for the Steelers, the city, and their values are high. With that being said, I’m a Chicago girl. So naturally I cheer for the Bears when the teams aren’t playing each other (which they are this week, of course).
There is no reason I cannot cheer for both teams (when they aren’t playing each other) because one is AFC and one is NFC, so I agree and think the same rules apply. Claiming you can’t cheer for two teams in different divisions is like saying you can’t have both bacon AND sausage for breakfast the same morning. Yes, you can. But when it comes down to business, as it is this week with the Bears/Steelers matchup on SNF, you pick a side. Because not picking a side is like saying you’re both a Cubs and White Sox fan which is the absolute worst. Don’t trust anyone who doesn’t pick a side.
Q: Rank these pets in order of if it’s okay for a guy to have: Dog, Cat, Parrot, Fish, Turtle, Snake, Rabbit, Ferret, Hermit Crab.
A: Why is this the hardest question ever?
Dog. Dog. Dog. Dog. Dog.
Okay, I’ll try to take this seriously, but I’m just saying if you actually have 8 out of 9 of these animals you need to look at your life and improve it as soon as possible because no one likes you, probably.
Dog. Cat. Hermit Crab (Disclaimer: I have no idea what a Hermit Crab is). Turtle. Rabbit. Fish. Ferret. Parrot. Snake.
Q: Thoughts on Trent Richardson going to the Colts? I know this is the third week we talk about Browns fans, but you can’t tell me you don’t feel bad for them right? Even as a AFC North rival!
A: I don’t think I’ve talked about the Browns as much as I have the past three weeks. In all honesty, I see both sides of this trade. The Browns figure they can potentially get more out of another first round draft pick than they can in Trent within the offense they are trying to develop. So from a business perspective it could (possibly) make sense if you actually draft right for the first time in your entire life.
But on the other hand, you don’t build your team in one draft. And even when you draft other key players, you will need a stud RB in the mix, which Trent is. Either way, they’re basically throwing in the towel on the season a short three weeks in and I feel horrible for their fan base. It takes a lot of effort and mental stability to remain a fan of that organization after all the shit they put their fans through, but somehow they do it. Hopefully, at the very least, they allow fans to exchange their Richardson jersey’s purchased in the past 6 months for some sort of credit. These Nike jerseys are an easy $200 and that is just ridiculous.
Q: I’ve heard of girls lying about how many guys they’ve been with to their boyfriends. Is that something you do or your friends do? Their numbers can’t be THAT high can they?
A: I don’t date or have boyfriends, so I don’t do this, but I know for a fact it’s a “thing”. I’ve had a good number of both male and female friends say they lie about how many partners they’ve had so they don’t seem “slutty”. But to me, there is no reason to even ask what your significant other’s number is ever. What’s the point? It contributes nothing to your current relationship at all so it’s a waste of time and energy. Surprise: there is this thing called COLLEGE where guys and girls both go a little batshit crazy. And sometimes it takes some of us longer to grow out of it than others.
Q: Ok, unicorn. Everyone has that one irritating person (or 3) that they work with (and obviously if they can’t think of anyone, they ARE that irritating person). How would a guy get rid of an annoying girl at work that stalks, annoys and basically never shuts up without coming off as an asshole?
A: Be respectful, but keep your distance. Always eat free food they bring into the office, but never sit by them at happy hour. Take the compliments with a smile, but never return them. Say ‘good morning’, but never say ‘have a great night.’ Not being an asshole is tough though, because humans can only take so much irritation without violence becoming an option. When it happens to me (every single day), I turn off completely to everything happening around me. I sit at my computer and type away while I listen to 2 Chainz Spotify and act like no one exists. Is that being an asshole?
Q: What do chicks think of dudes who collect sports memorabilia? Is it no different than Andy from 40 year old virgin with toys?
A: Depends on who you ask. If you ask me, I’m digging it and am probably going to try to steal something I really like before I leave (just a heads up). So if you’re looking for a sports chick then take pride in your sports memorabilia! Display cases, framed autographed photos, hang up the jerseys of the retired, etc. The only thing I would advise against is sports related sheets. No hockey puck or basketball print sheets over the age of 14, please. And from personal experience, I have throws of teams which is fine, but I had sheets with the Steelers logo on them in college and everyone thought I was either a lesbian or a child, so I had to get rid of them. Lesson learned.
Q: Give us three random athletes:
A: Kerri Strug. Larry “Grandmama” Johnson. Richard Sherman.
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