Unicorns do exist. They come in the form of girls that love sports. We’ve got a resident unicorn on the Bacon Sports team and you can ask her whatever you’d like. Really, anything. That’s why we created “Ask a Sports Chick”.
Meet our unicorn, Taina. She is from Chicago and is currently battling a life-long sports addiction. She is a lover of all food and whiskey, and hater of the NFL offseason.
Also, don’t forget to check out Rob and Taina’s weekly Fresh n Stunna Podcast. They dish sports absurdity with a random goofiness unlike anyone else.
Q: What are your thoughts on stadium proposals? Total d-bag “all eyes on me” kind of thing or is it sweet? Please divulge.
A: I don’t think it’s “sweet” because “sweet” isn’t really my style, but I think it’s kind of cool if it’s a team that the girl is a fan of. If someone proposed to me at a Bulls, Steelers, or Blackhawks game I’d probably die. Mostly because I love getting on the jumbotron, but also because of the engagement, I guess. But if your girlfriend doesn’t give a crap about sports, then it’d be classified as a self-righteous move on the guys part. And she would probably get pissed and say no. If you don’t believe me watch this:
Q: Tell us how it feels to be starting the NFL season at 0-3.
A: It doesn’t feel good at all, thanks for bringing it up. It’s as if every week I expect the Steelers to do bad, but never as bad as we actually do. I could write a thesis on this topic right now because I have so many suggested solutions for the coaching staff to implement. Do you know how absolutely devastating it is to wait an entire offseason with a horrible MLB team (the Cubs) and a pretty great draft to watch your team suit up and take the field and then get completely disappointed? I do.
Q: Here are a few rounds of would you rather… Choose wisely.
A: Your favorite sports team winning the championship or an intimate date with your ultimate crush?
Although I could debate this in my head all day long, I have to go with my team winning a championship. An intimate date with JJ Watt sounds so amazing but one intimate date is just that. Championships live forever (I’m so insightful, aren’t I?)
Get laid once a year and watch sports whenever you’d like or never be able to watch your favorite sports team again and get laid every day?
You guys suck with these questions. But I’d choose to stop getting laid and watch sports whenever I’d like, obviously… I think.
Date a guy who hates all sports or date an ex-convict?
Date an ex-convict.
Be allergic to bacon or be allergic to alcohol ?
I’d rather kill myself.
Q: Did you hear about the Kevin Durant and Dwyane Wade feud? What do you think? I think it’s kind of childish to use Instagram and Twitter to “beef” about this, but who am I to turn down a good NBA rivalry.
A: I don’t want to be a buzzkill about this, but there is no way that this isn’t a publicity stunt. It’s no coincidence that both athletes are sponsored by Gatorade. Do you not remember that Gatorade commercial they did last year? Were the NBA fans that are hyping this up living under a rock for every single commercial break? I’m not buying it. Also, I’m so excited/nervous about the Bulls right now that I really do not care about anything else this miniscule.
Q: Do you think it’s free game for a guy to sleep with a random when he is out on his bachelor party or vice versa? Are there bachelor party “rules” that girls think exist?
A: There are no “rules” that apply to bachelor parties unless specified by the significant other before the events take place. And I understand the whole “I’m going to be with one person for the rest of my life I need to do this now!” argument, I really do, but it’s not an excuse to slay some bottle rat from the club. In my mind you made the decision to propose, so if you wanted to not be with that person for the rest of your life you had your chance by remaining single. And also, if you’re about to be married wouldn’t you be at that point where sleeping with someone else is probably unacceptable regardless? I’m no relationship expert (obviously…like literally, I know nothing about relationships), so I see both sides of this.
Q: I’ve been on a six-week bender and need some hangover remedies as soon as possible? Please suggest anything.
A: I suggest you ask someone else because my hangovers get worse by the week. Most days I can’t eat until around 2pm. Others I’m still drunk so I keep drinking to avoid the hangover. And most I just want to die.
Q: In honor of the NHL preseason being back, give us three random NHL athletes.
A: Patrick Roy, Wayne Gretzky, Chris Higgins
Photo Credit: WickedBachelor
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