For some of us in 2013, disposable income is a figment of imagination. It’s not real – it’s only something we can dream about. We live our lives paycheck-to-paycheck, and see our earnings instantaneously sucked into payments on rent, car, cable, electricity, etc. After all, it’s hard to play RBI Baseball on a Nintendo NES without power.
But imagine, if you will, that you had money to spend. That you were able to scour the internet and purchase an item on a whim that mentally transports you to a simpler time in your life. Yes, this is a dream. Don’t wake up. It feels so real.
If you had $68 to spend on random retro sports stuff (one man’s crap is another man’s treasure…or relocated crap) on eBay, these are our recommendations:
1995 WWF SummerSlam VHS (buy it now for $19.99!): Did the Heartbreak Kid retain his Intercontinental Title belt against Razor Ramon? Who did Kevin Nash fight again? Triple H was there? God, he is old. Relive all of these wonderful, meaningless memories without the ludicrous sticker price of today’s Pay-Per-View broadcasts. (NOTE: You’ll need a VCR for viewing. Maybe Grandma can part with her’s for a few hours? Murder She Wrote reruns play all day is it is.)
Toni Kukoc Jugoplastika Jersey (buy it now for $29.70!): Back when Jordan, Scottie and Worm were leading the Chicago Bulls to their second three-peat of the 1990s, it was posh to say that your favorite member of those teams was Toni Kukoc. He had the European flare that at that time was still somewhat unique, and it made you look a little bit smarter than everyone else. In reality, sure, MJ was everyone’s favorite, but you just had to be different. And with that differentiation, there was a surplus of Kukoc Bulls jerseys produced in that time. You know what would really make you the cock of the walk? A Kukoc jersey from his European pro days!
New Kids on the Block 1989-90 World Tour Coat (buy it now for $32.00!): NKOTB were trailblazers. They were a boy band before boy bands were a thing. They were the original. The first. The greatest? Hard to say, and that’s a debate that gets folks all hot and bothered. We owe NKOTB a great deal of gratitude. If they weren’t making little lasses scream in the late 80s, our ears may have never experienced the euphoria that was “It’s Tearing Up My Heart,” “I Want It That Way” or “The Hardest Thing.”
Flutie Flakes Cereal Box (buy it now for $4.99!): You can thank us later. We’re looking out for you. At Bacon Sports, we don’t condone eating cereal from the late 90s. Back in 1999, Doug Flutie was the darling of the NFL, leading the underdog Buffalo Bills back to respectability after the agony of four consecutive Super Bowl defeats earlier in the decade. What better way to cash in on the apex of his popularity than create a cereal in his honor? (NOTE: Proceeds from cereal purchases were donated to the Doug Flutie Foundation for Autism, and that’s pretty cool.)
While none of these items may be worth the change in your pocket, they could serve a distinct purpose to transport your mind to a simpler, possibly happier time in your life. Sliding on that NKOTB tour jacket may remind you of going deep (or, more likely, striking out) during a little league game. Popping in the SummerSlam VHS could send your mind on a stroll down to a memory of you power slamming your little brother in your basement’s unfinished, concrete-floored basement. Whichever items you decide to splurge on, may it serve as your own personal time machine and as a reminder that you have far too much random crap.
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