The Detroit Lions trolled Geno Smith by playing “I Can’t Feel My Face” when his name was announced last week, and it was glorious. Rex Ryan was grateful for the real-life version of Mike Tyson Punch-Out that occurred in the Jets’ locker room since he got another LB out of it. Here are five other boneheaded athlete injuries that have occurred in sports and the five songs I would use to troll them.
1. JPP – “Firework”
Jason Pierre-Paul took idiocracy to a new level this 4th of July when he played with fireworks and literally got burned. One amputated index finger later, his future in the NFL is cloudy. Katy Perry’s empowering anthem will make it all better.
2. Plaxico Burress – “In Da Club”
In early 2008, Plaxico Burress was riding high. He had just made the Super Bowl-winning catch for the Giants, sending Tom Brady into a deep depression. Later that year, he did one of the most boneheaded things a dude can do: he shot himself in the leg, in a nightclub, while wearing sweatpants. I think 50 Cent’s first chart topper is appropriate here.
3. Jeff Kent – “Car Wash”
Jeff Kent literally broke his wrist falling off his truck at a do-it-yourself car wash. You can’t make this stuff up! I think a little Rose Royce would be the perfect way to troll ol’ Jeff. Major snaps for his amazing 90s mustache, too!
4. Brian Griese – “Who Let the Dogs Out”
Remember that time Brian Griese sprained his ankle tripping over his dog? Yeah, so does he, and I’m sure he’d like to forget, but we’re not going to allow that to happen. The Baha Men have something to say about that.
5. Stephen Tulloch – “Safety Dance”
Like the great Butt Fumble of 2012, Stephen Tulloch’s ill-fated sack dance from last year never gets old. Who needs an ACL after all? Tulloch learned an important lesson that day: when celebrating an Aaron Rodgers sack, safety always comes first.
Those are the five dumbest injuries I can think of and the songs I would use to troll the geniuses involved. I would love nothing more than to turn back time and take over the PA system while those dudes were playing so I could blast those songs. So who you got on your list? Let us know on Twitter @BaconSports!