Girls who are awesome and like sports are Unicorns. It’s a concept that we came up with to celebrate the wonderfulness of female sports fans. You can read more about it here.
There are unicorns among us and we want you to help us find them. If you know a girl who likes sports, plays fantasy football, and/or exhibits qualities that we are looking for in a unicorn then tweet us @BaconSports (make sure to use hashtag #imaunicorn) or shoot us an email to email@example.com. Each week the girl who sends us something that we deem the most worthy will be our Unicorn of the Week and we will profile them.
Say hello to Grazia Accordino, a Cleveland sports loving, Steelers hating, sports fan who once got in a fight with the Orioles mascot and was given a ball in batting practice from Shin Soo Choo. You can follow her on Twitter @Guicy_G. We wanted to find out more about what makes her fandom tick so we asked her a bunch of questions.
Q: Chris Perez sent marijuana to his house to his dog’s name. Tell us what you think about that.
A: He was probably high when he had it sent because no one in their right mind would honestly think that would work. Come on Christopher…I met him once in Baltimore and he was literally hilarious. I tried to take the picture myself but he took the camera and gave it to the cop guarding the dugout and had him take it instead. Perez then said “ok go Orioles on 3”. I was cracking up when he took it.
Q: The Sports Gods decide to grant the Browns the wish of taking one player from any NFL team and putting that guy on their roster. Who would select?
A: QB from the Colts, Andrew Luck. We desperately need a quarterback and he fits the bill. He can also grow a great beard. Can’t be mad about that.
Q: Describe life as a Cleveland Sports fan in 10 words or less.
A: Give me one before I die, PLEASE!!!
Q: Do you feel like Cleveland sports are cursed?
A: That’s a tricky question. I’m stubborn as hell so when I don’t want to admit one of my favorite players screwed up or that the opposing team had a good play I yell “THANKS A LOT ART!” to ease the pain. Even if I’m watching the Cavs or the Tribe.
Q: What or who is your sports guilty pleasure?
A: Naturally there’s only room for one “tribe” in the MLB so the Yankees are not a favorite of mine, at all. Pronk was at the top of my list when he played for the Indians. Unfortunately he transferred to the dark side and decided to join the pinstripes. I should hate him but I can’t do it! His past season was punishment enough. LOVE YOU TRAVIS <3
Q: If you were good enough to be in the Winter Olympics which sport would you choose?
A: Curling without a doubt. I’ve given this much thought in the past. It’s the most entertaining thing to watch. I could literally watch it everyday.
Q: Tell us about how you almost got into a fight with the Orioles mascot.
A: I was in Baltimore and my dad got me my bro and sis awesome seats! We were right on the Indians dugout. We went in early and decided to go wait by the dugout to see if we could get a few autographs. That annoying bird came over every 5 minutes. I’m convinced there was a guy in that costume because he kept shaking his ass 2 inches in front of our face waving his feathers, then signaling the universal “call me”. My sister punched him in the arm jokingly but it was pretty hard in all honesty and the cop came over and told us we’d have to leave if we made anymore contact with it. I kindly told him that thing wouldn’t leave us alone but he didn’t believe me. The bird came over yet again and I was forced to tell him I was gonna beat the Sh*t outta him if he came over here one more time and then the cop told him to go somewhere else. I hate Baltimore.
Q: Do you have a story about a guy being super lame and failing your infield fly test or not knowing about sports?
A: Guys literally think I’m kidding when I ask them these questions. When things get awkward I start spewing out random facts and asking weird questions, but the questions always end up being about sports. They’re either taken back that I actually know something about athletics or they think their friend sent me over to bust their chops. One time I was at a party and as usual it was filled with grade A douche bags. We all look for that one person we’re gonna set our sights on and get their attention. I found mine based solely on the fact that he had Chief Wahoo on his his fitted hat. We got to talking and actually ended up getting in a fight over whether or not the Indians are doing away with the Chief and going to the block “C” or not. My friends had to pull me away but not before I challenged him to an arm wrestling match. He respectfully declined. I wonder why.
Q: Are guys ever intimidated by how much you love sports?
A: I don’t know honestly. Some of them are definitely taken back, but as a whole they’re usually more excited that I actually know what I’m talking about!
Q: Describe the perfect sports loving guy.
A: Oh God… First and foremost you gotta be funny and you gotta be able to laugh at yourself. I’m constantly making myself the ass of the joke. Stick to your guns and don’t change your opinion to match mine because I promise you I won’t. Haha I like someone who gets just as pissed when someone leaves three guys on base as I do. Someone who is gonna wake up at the ass crack of dawn to go tailgating. Who will catch a foul ball and keep it for himself instead of giving it to me. Someone who purposely eggs me on when I get in arguments with surrounding fans. Oh, also I’ll never convert to another team. If you do, that is RED FLAG! I think it’s fun to talk smack about each other’s teams. Someone who can spot me on the bench. My dad tells me I go after “block heads”. Still unsure of what that means exactly. Oh and taller than me… That shouldn’t be a problem considering I’m 5’1″ on a good day.
Q: If Andrew Bynum’s career were a movie what would it be?
A: A drama that’s for sure hahaha about a nomad or something. He never really had a home, always moving.
Q: When Kyrie Irving’s career as a Cav is done what will the story be?
A: Everyone is already crying when he’s trapped here for another 2 years!!! We’ve got plenty of time. If he leaves I’m sure Cleveland will exile him just like LeBron. I don’t think it will be nearly as bad, but it will be something similar.
Q: SEC fans think that the Big 10 is minor league football. What do you have to say to that?
A: Urban Meyer will force the Big 10 to step up so that they can compete with OSU. We love a challenge and those are fighting words!
Q: Jim Tressell is ______________
A: THE MAN. No better way to put it.
Q: Did you watch the 30 for 30 on Maurice Clarett? How did it make you feel?
A: I’ve never felt so many different emotions in a 2 hour period. Maurice Clarett is someone who never stopped pushing. None of us have excuses for giving up or deciding something is too hard. It inspired me just like I’m sure it inspired every other person who watched it. It pissed me off at times. I hate seeing deserving people get the short end of the stick. But it makes me feel like unfortunate things happen in order for better things to occur in the future. We decide what will happen for us. No one to blame or credit but ourselves and those we surround ourselves with. Maurice understood that and ran with it.
Q: Select a sports video that represents you. Choose wisely.
A: This might not exactly be a “sports video” but it’s a favorite of mine because it reminds me of when I was younger and my brother and his idiot friends never let me play with them. I’d go searching for the biggest strongest kids around my neighborhood to be on my team. It never actually worked out… but if it did I’d imagine it being like this.
Q: Your beer of choice is ______________
A: Sam Adams Octoberfest!!!
Q: The best autograph you have is _____________
A: Justin Masterson. Nicest guy in the MLB!
Q: What do you put on a hot dog?
A: Ketchup, Mustard, and hot sauce. If I’m feeling it I’ll put close to anything on it, except onions.They smell like body odor.
Q: You believe that you are a “medium” and can call a home run. Can you cite any examples to prove your skills?
A: There’s so many but one in particular is Seattle at Progressive on May 17th this past season. It was a close game and we’re in extras (3-3). No one is even on base yet and we’re up to bat. I looked at my dad and I said “Jason is gonna hit a home run and save the day”. My dad didn’t believe me at all. He actually started laughing at me and called me Boso the clown telling me there’s 4 guys in front of him. I told him he’s gonna feel dumb in a minute and he just kept yelling “HE STINKS” because he knew it got my blood boiling. They get their first out. Then they get their second out. I get a little nervous but I kept my cool. They walk Stubbs. He get’s picked off and steals second. Mike Bourn Gets an infield hit and now its time for my boy to make something happen. I could tell my dad was freaking out. He said “Grace if you’re right I’ll never say another word to you about this medium sh*t”. You guessed it, WALK OFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I went crazy for at least 10 minutes straight.
Q: I think the most obnoxious fan base is __________
A: Shittsburgh, also known as Pittsburgh. Biggest group of frontrunners on the planet.
Q: Drew Carey is the most famous Cleveland sports fan celebrity. Say something about this.
A: CLEVELAND ROCKS!
Q: Do you own any jerseys? If so who?
A: I have so many Browns jerseys.They’re actually my dad’s but he shares. Too bad I can’t wear half of them anymore. Couch, McCoy, Quinn, Cribbs, and so many with my last name, Accordino, plastered on the back. Also Clarett and a bunch of baseball jerseys but none with any actual players, just my name.
Q: What is your favorite sports movie and how many times do you think you’ve seen it?
A: A League of their Own! My dad always told me my sister would be Madonna and I’d be Rosie O’Donnell.
Q: On a scale of 1 – 100. How much do you like bacon?
A: Ok I’ve been waiting for this one… I’ll eat it in a carbonara but that’s basically it. I love the way it smells and I want to like it but it just kind of reminds me of bark on a tree. My friends hate me for it. I’m Sorry!!! So like a 17.
Q: Tell us about an encounter you’ve had with an athlete.
A: This has to be my favorite story of all time with the exception of the time I choked on a meatball and instead of my brother saving me he laughed. So I won tickets for a suite at Progressive Field. I brought my only girlfriend who liked baseball just as much as I did. We made sure we left early enough so that we could get there before BP. We walked through the only gate that was open and got past at least 7 seating attendants and parked our asses in section 165, my fav. Third base line and right next to the dugout. I was waiting for the players to come out when a cop told me I had to move and asked us how we even got down here. I wanted to cry or punch him in the face, I’m really not sure. I told him I got permission from a seating attendant. He could smell my bullshit from a mile away. Then one of the oldest Indians staff member I have ever seen told him we were “with him”. He was so sweet! I thought that was going to be the highlight of my day until Carlos Santana came running over. He signed so many autographs! Luckily he decided he was done after he signed the guy’s right next to me. I was pissed. I figured my luck had run out and decided to enjoy the view of Asdrubal stretching 10 feet in front of me. Then the baseball gods spoke. My one and only babe JASON KIPNIS came running out! He did his plios then ran over to me and the other 50 people on the railing. He signed one friggin’ ball and called it a day. I was not letting that happen. I yelled “Jason wait!!!” just as he was running in. He looked back and decided to come on over. I could’ve died, for real. I asked him if he would take a picture with me and he seemed pretty pumped about it. He even waited to see if it turned out okay! He turned to run back and again I said “wait take this!” I handed him an Italian horn. It brings good luck and wards off evil. It must have worked because that SOB had one hell of a game. I wonder if he kept it.
Q: Mustaches are ________________
A: Pretty hot on the right person.
Q: Give us three random athletes. The more random the better.
A: Bill Buckner, John Elway, Bubby Brister
Q: You are a baseball player. What song are you walking to the plate to?
A: I’ve been thinking about this for years. Definitely Cold Hard Bitch by Jet. I think they wrote it about me.
Q: Rank these players: Trent Richardson, Michael Jordan, Albert Belle, Braxton Miller, Josh Gordon, Ubaldo Jiminez, Anderson Varejo, Jose Mesa
1. Michael Jordan – Best of all time
2. Albert Belle – I love a hot head
3. Josh Gordon – Keeping the dream alive for us
4. Ubaldo Jiminez – Consistently awesome
5. Braxton Miller – Always been a fan
6. Anderson Varejo – Your hair mesmerizes me
7. Trent Richardson – You STINK
8. Jose Mesa – You blew it.
Q: Give us some last words (as many as you’d like on whatever you’d like).
A: It is possible to find a girl who can make you a sandwich. It’s also possible that that very same girl will stand with you in a poncho during OT in freezing rain. You just gotta embrace her sports fandom instead of treating her like she has no clue what she’s talking about. Quickest way to have no girl, and no sandwich. GO BROWNS!
OTHER UNICORN’S OF THE WEEK: