Sports

Unicorn of the Week: Laura Depta

By December 18, 2013 2 Comments
unicorn-laura-depta

unicorn-laura-deptaGirls who like sports and are awesome are Unicorns. It’s a concept that we came up with to celebrate the wonderfulness of female sports fans. You can read more about it here.

There are unicorns among us and we want you to help us find them. If you know a girl who likes sports, plays fantasy football, and/or exhibits qualities that we are looking for in a unicorn then tweet us @BaconSports (make sure to use hashtag #imaunicorn) or shoot us an email to boom@baconsports.com. Each week the girl who sends us something that we deem the most worthy will be our Unicorn of the Week and we will profile them.
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We are proud to have Laura Depta as our second Unicorn of the Week (you can follow her on Twitter @LauraDepta). She impressed us with her sports themed Halloween costume and love of the Evil Empire. As part of being Unicorn of the Week we wanted to find out more about Laura’s sports fandom. Here’s what make this unicorn unique and special!

Q: Which teams do you root for?
A: There are only three teams that give me enough stress to consider consulting a physician over – the New York Yankees and Michigan State Spartans (football and basketball). When every person on the planet inevitably spits, “cough, bandwagon!” when I tell them I’m a Yankees fan, the reason I give them for my fandom is that I’m originally from New York. This seems to calm everyone off the ledge. Truthfully, the real reason I’m a Yankee fan is because my dad is. I don’t feel that any further explanation is needed.

As for Sparty, I’m not a lifelong fan, but damn if that school didn’t win me over when I went there back in 2003-07. And now, Michigan State is the only school in the nation with AP top-5 ranked football and men’s basketball programs…killing it. The Yankees and Spartans are my only die hard teams. I live in Chicago now, so I dig the Bears, but I’m not going to go jump off the Navy Pier ferris wheel if they lose a game.

Q: Mustaches are _________
A: Hilarious, ala Ron Burgundy.

Q: Tell us about an encounter you’ve had with an athlete.
A: One time during college I was coming out of a bar in East Lansing, and I had the following exchange with Paul Davis, former Michigan State hoops big man:

PD: Hey Ashley!
Me: Nope, try again.
PD: Oh yea, hey Katie!
Me: Nope. Listen Paul, we’ve never met before.
PD: Yes we have, Lauren, what’s up?
Me: Close, but no. Solid effort.

Ahh Paul Davis. Any Spartans out there will remember him as possibly the dumbest person to ever walk the campus of Michigan State. A tip for men hitting on women: if you don’t know her name, maybe don’t just throw out common female names hoping one of them is hers.

Q: Select a sports video that represents you. Choose wisely.
A: In order to pay my bills and pass the time from 9-5 on weekdays, I work for an event management company that produces the Chicago Marathon. This, combined with the fact that The League is the best show ever and is set in Chicago, is why I chose this video.

Q: Thoughts on people who put ketchup on hot dogs?
A: People who put ketchup on hot dogs are like people who eat cheese pizza. It’s not bad, but there are so many more exciting options!

Q: What is your greatest sports memory?
A: I’ve been lucky to see my teams compete in a lot of really awesome stuff – playoff games, World Series championships, Final Fours. But my favorite sports memory is this. Being from western New York, I was a pretty solid Bills fan until they broke my heart with that whole losing four-straight Super Bowls thing. When I was eight years old, my dad took me to my first ever NFL Playoff game – Divisional Playoffs, Raiders at Bills, 1994. It was -32 degrees with the wind chill and the coldest game in Buffalo Bills history. Bruce Smith wore no sleeves, and I wore every other piece of clothing on the planet. I drank approximately 47 hot chocolates and had the time of my life.

Q: What is your biggest sports heartbreak?
A: Something that happened in the Bronx in 2004, but since I refuse to talk about that, let’s go with my second biggest heartbreak. Buffalo Bills Super Bowl loss number one of four. Norwood wide right. 1991. I cried like a freaking five-year-old girl. Oh wait, I was a five-year-old girl. That one scarred me for life.

Q: What is the best game you’ve ever been to live?
A: The last game at old Yankee Stadium. That was the one time in history I was or ever will be glad that the Yankees missed the postseason. I sat in the nosebleeds in right field with my dad and sister. People were still in the stadium for hours after the game ended. No one wanted to leave. Yanks won. Mo got the save. It was truly historic, and well worth the money spent to go.

Q: What or who is your sports guilty pleasure?
A: I always say that I like sports more than men because I enjoy sports on several levels. Not only do I love watching games, attending games, listening to talking heads analyze games, and drinking during games, but I also love checking out hot men in sports uniforms. Ow. Owww.

Q: Which team do you dislike the most?
A: No surprise here, the Boston Red Sox. Although funny story. One time I was outside of Fenway and my dad and I ran into Peter Gammons on the street. I reacted as if I were a 12-year-old girl who just saw Bieber. Gammons was the nicest guy – took a picture with me, chatted us up about the Yankees. Then when I got back to Chicago and bragged about meeting Peter Gammons, no one knew who I was talking about. Clearly, I need new friends.

Q: The Bulls without Derrick Rose are like ________
A: …raunchy movies on TBS. Just not even worth watching.

Q: Which NFL pre-game channel/show do you favor/watch?
A: I’m an ESPN girl, so I watch NFL Countdown. Also I am too lazy to change the channel from when I fell asleep to SportsCenter the night before.

Q: What is your favorite sports movie and how many times do you think you’ve seen it?
A: Fact. I love all sports movies, even the horribly made ones with terrible acting. You think your sappy music back-dropping a montage of inspirational sports highlights is going to WORK on me? Well guess what, you’re right. Works every time.

My favorite sports movie though is The Sandlot. What a classic. Over/under on how many times I’ve seen it is 20. I instantly like anyone who says, “You’re killin’ me Smalls” in general conversation.

Q: What were you for Halloween?
A: Manti Te’o. My friend Caitlin was his fake dead girlfriend Lennay Kekua. We stole a hospital gown for Caitlin to wear and topped it off with a brown wig, angel wings and a pipe cleaner halo. I crafted a #5 ND jersey and added a gold “C” for authenticity. Also sported cleats and a Hawaiian lei. Good costumes are all about the details. 

Q: On a scale of 1 – 100. How much do you like bacon?
A: Don’t hate me, but only about 75. Sometimes I even order sausage at brunch. Seriously, don’t hate me.

Q: Who is your least favorite athlete? Why?
A: Alex Rodriguez. Do I need to explain? What a complete douche.

Q: Do you play fantasy football and if so what’s your team name? How’s your team doing?
A: Would you give this award to someone who didn’t play fantasy football? My team name is Jenny MacArthur because I really identify with her, even though she’s fictional. I also like having team names that not everyone will understand. That way, I can filter people based on whether or not they get stuff. Oh you don’t understand my team name? I am immediately judging you for your lack of coolness.

I am dismayed to say that I narrowly missed the four-team playoff in my 14-team league. Knew that Reggie Bush move was risky on draft day.

Q: Do you have a favorite female sports anchor or sideline reporter?
A: Linda Cohn. She has always been the jam. Got her start covering hockey for a New York radio station in the eighties. She doesn’t wear too much makeup or sparkly tank tops. She just knows her shit, and everyone respects her for it.

Q: One thing in sports that makes me laugh is:
A: Even though he’s a Boston guy, I’ve always loved Bill Simmons’ mailbags. If only he would do more of them like the old days.

Q: You are a baseball player. What song are you walking to the plate to?
A: Fort Minor, Remember the Name. Nothing gets me jacked up for athletic performance like that song. I should mention that I’m not a gifted athlete at all, but I have run two marathons that without this song, absolutely would not have been completed.

Q: Do you have any sports superstitions?
A: Since I am a rational and level-headed human being, I do not think anything I do or don’t do will actually affect the outcome of any game. I do have a sports motto, though. Ahem: “Always expect the worst. That way you can never be disappointed, only pleasantly surprised.” I am the person who NEVER assumes a win until it is mathematically impossible to lose. I am the person who looks up at the scoreboard at Spartan Stadium, sees a score of 21-6 with a three minutes remaining and shout, “THREE MINUTES IS A LIFETIME IN A FOOTBALL GAME!! EVERYONE SHUT UP!!”

Q: Rank these things: watching a Cubs game in the bleachers in mid-June, Mike Ditka, Chicago Style Hot Dogs, hooded sweatshirts, finding a $5 bill on the ground, Derek Jeter, hot sauce, Dumb and Dumber
A: Cool, thanks for including six of my ten most favorite things in life on this list. Don’t make it hard or anything. If I must:

8. Mike Ditka
7. Chicago-Style Hot Dogs
6. Finding $5 on the ground
5. Dumb & Dumber
4. Hot Sauce
3. Cubs game in the bleachers in June
2. Derek Jeter
1. Hooded Sweatshirts

Q: Anything you’d like to plug?
A: You guys are rad for offering. Check out my Yankees page on Rantsports.com. If people felt like reading it, that would be awesome. None of my Chicago friends seem to be too into it…weird.

Q: Give us some last words (as many as you’d like).
A: My biggest pet peeve is pink sports jerseys, scratch that, sparkly pink sports jerseys. I believe I was born to be a Yankees fan since the short porch in right at Yankee Stadium is 314 feet, and I was born on 3/14. I think people can like sports for all different reasons – the game itself, the atmosphere, the booze involved – but I don’t think people should purport to be educated on a subject if they are not. “Team X Sucks!” is not an intelligent insult. I dig sports, but I also dig Grey’s Anatomy. I blow money on baseball tickets, but I also blow money on pedicures. So I don’t know, I’m an enigma wrapped in a riddle wrapped in…bacon, I suppose.

 

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Rob Cressy

Rob Cressy

Sports loving free throw specialist and yinzer living in Chicago who is awesome most of the time, has run with the bulls in Spain, and is a graduate of Second City's Improv program.