Oh, hey there, March Madness. Welcome back. I was beginning to get super bored with the winter sports lull. But you never fail me. My bracket, on the other hand, often fails me. Speaking of, here are five unorthodox ways of picking your March Madness bracket if you don’t feel like actually doing the research.
1. The Dart Board Approach
This is the approach to take if you’re big on DIY projects and have tons of free time. Basically, if you’re a trust fund baby trying to make it as an artist, this one’s for you!
Step 1: Find an empty bracket.
Step 2: Take said bracket to Kinko’s and have it enlarged.
Step 3: Steal darts from a local pub (note: darts don’t have to be stolen, but it’s way cooler if they are.)
Step 4: Throw darts at bracket until all selections are made.
2. The Borrow Your Friend’s Kid Approach
Find a friend or family member with a small child that is verbal, and have that kid make all picks for you. Not only is it entertaining, but sometimes it’s actually effective. My nephew had a stellar bracket when he was three!
3. The Ouija Approach
Buy the game on Amazon for $13 (excellent deal). Ditch the board. Replace with bracket. Light some candles. See where it takes you.
4. Copy Obama’s
Hey, the guy usually does well. Plus, it’ll save you a ton of time.
5. The Jelly Bean Approach
Scatter a jar of jelly beans over your bracket. Pick the teams they land on. Repeat until a winner has been selected for all games.
If you’re like me, and you kind of hate filling our your bracket due to a lifetime of tourney heartbreaks, then these methods are for you. Some of them can get a little pricey (dart board), some of them are a little creepy (friend’s kid), but all are guaranteed to turn heads at the bar when people asked you how you came up with Austin Peavy beating Kansas (god, I hope that doesn’t happen.)