Who is Better: Chris Bosh vs Miller Lite

By April 17, 2012June 18th, 2018No Comments

I’m going to try something new out today. Often times people in the media or you and your friends debate on which two players are better. Would you rather have Lebron James or Kobe Bryant, Derek Jeter or Alex Rodriguez, Dan Marino or Charles Barkley. What if instead of comparing two players I compared one player to a movie, place, or thing? I’m going to start out by testing this with a player that is good but not great, Chris Bosh. He is going to go up against Miller Lite beer.

I’m not a fan of Chris Bosh at all but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to arbitrarily say that he is worthless. I’m not Skip Bayless. Like the Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase said “Everybody’s got a price“. At a certain price (or level) Chris Bosh is attractive to me. Would I want him over Lamar Odom? No doubt. Al Jefferson? Doubtful. The question is if I’d rather have Chris Bosh on my team or Miller Lite.

Kris Humpries is not the most disliked player in the NBA. That poll was a crock as no guys actually give a crap about what happened between him and Kim Kardashian. The person who should have been at the top, who came in at number six, was Chris Bosh. Think about it, people from Toronto can’t stand him. He was a stat filler up there and didn’t deliver squat in terms of success for the team. People outside of Miami can’t stand him because everyone hates the Heat. Even people in Miami probably aren’t fond if him because he’s being paid the same as Lebron James and more than Dwayne Wade.

Despite not being popular Chris Bosh can ball. He’s averaged 19.8 ppg, 9.1 boards, and 1.1 blocks while shooting 49% from the field and 80% from the charity stripe over his career. To put that into perspective, Hall of Fame Laker James Worthy averaged 17.6 ppg, 5.1 boards, shot 52% from the field and 77% from the charity stripe. What obviously separates the two players is that Worthy won three titles with the Lakers. Worthy wasn’t the go to guy on the Lakers (Magic Johnson, Kareem) just like Bosh isn’t the go to guy on the Heat. Let’s say that the Heat get their act together and roll off a few Championships like many expect them to, then what? Does that not validate Chris Bosh’s career? Sure you can say that Dwayne Wade and Lebron James were the reason why they won the titles but you’d be wrong. Chris Bosh is an integral part in the team’s success. The fact of the matter is that he’s on the team and puts up good numbers so he has to get some credit for when they succeed. Telling me that they would win without him isn’t a valid argument because that scenario didn’t/isn’t happening so it’s irrelevant. If the Miami Heat were to win three Championships then I think it’s safe to say that Chris Bosh is a Hall of Famer. He’d have the titles, All Star appearances (seven as of right now), and stats to back it up.

Like Chris Bosh I’m not a fan of Miller Lite. I’m more of a Bud Light kind of guy. That being said, if I go to a party and all that they have to drink is Miller Lite I’m not going to turn it down. Miller Lite has one sole purpose: get you drunk. It allows you to drink copious amounts and get bombed. The positives of Miller Lite are that it is relavitely cheap and tastes better than Natty Light/IceHouse/Beast. I don’t know of anyone who drinks Miller Lite strictly for the taste. You don’t walk into a bar with the option to drink Guinness or Stella and decide to drink a Miller Lite instead because you are craving one.

In terms of consistency the advantage goes to Miller Lite. Bosh has put up 18+ ppg for each of the last seven seasons. That’s impressive but he’s bound to have some off days where he shoots 40% from the field. With Miller Lite you certainly know what you are getting. You get drunk every time you drink 10 of them.

In terms of ceiling the advantage goes to Chris Bosh. This year against the Atlanta Hawks with both D.Wade and Lebron out Bosh poured in 33 points and 14 boards and hit a thirty footer to send the game to overtime as the Heat ended up winning in triple OT. The Hawks are a playoff team and the Heat were without their two best players so that is impressive. Also, as I mentioned before, if the Heat win a few titles then Bosh could actually be a Hall of Fame player (he isn’t now but COULD BE). Miller Lite doesn’t all of a sudden end up tasting like Stella one day. It’s always the same. This is the best that Miller Lite is ever going to be.

The determining factor then is who is more replaceable? The advantage goes to Chris Bosh. Not too many players have made the All Star team seven consecutive seasons. Someone could fill in and have a few good games in his absence but they wouldn’t match his production on a long term basis. It’s just not easy to replace an All Star. Miller Lite is easily replaceable. There are a ton of options in the medium priced, tastes like water, will get you drunk beverage market.

There you have it. Chris Bosh is better than Miller Lite. Which would you rather have?

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Rob Cressy

Rob Cressy

Sports loving free throw specialist and yinzer living in Chicago who is awesome most of the time, has run with the bulls in Spain, and is a graduate of Second City's Improv program.