A few days ago, in a grocery store not so far away…
It was a time of turmoil. The Penguins had lost Game 7 of the second round of the Eastern Conference series. Pittsburgh fans were distraught, and the Pirates certainly weren’t helping to ease their pain. The Steel City faithful were in disarray. They needed a hero.
A lost and distressed Pittsburgh gal was wondering the aisles of a new grocery store in the Chicagoland area, looking for a pick-me-up. She tried the bakery, but had no such luck. Then came the candy aisle, but she left feeling uninspired. After an underwhelming breeze through the frozen foods section, she came across something miraculous, a sign from the Bacon Gods: Yuengling Bacon BBQ Sauce. Could it be? Has someone truly created a BBQ sauce out of Pennsylvania’s favorite beer and America’s favorite meat? Is this real life?
Overcome with emotion, the young gal leapt about, drawing stares from the elderly couple in the condiments aisle. “Don’t judge me,” she muttered under her breath, as she reached her hands out to pick up a magical bottle of awesomeness. Then, like a Usain Bolt of lightning, a thought struck her brain: “If this store has Yuengling BBQ Sauce, might they also have Yuengling beer?” As quickly as a Cubs fan can spell Samardzija, she sprinted to the beer aisle, leaving the bottle of literal “awesome sauce” behind like a glass slipper on the steps of a castle.
When she arrived at the beer aisle, she was a bit winded (it may or may not be time to start doing cardio again). Nevertheless, she fixated her stare into the cooler and began to peruse the names. Bud, Miller, Coors, Blue Moon, she found all the usual suspects in the domestic section, but not the one she coveted most.
Overcome with disappointment, she defiantly stormed out of the store. As she began the long journey back into the city, it hit her: “I never bought the Yuengling Bacon BBQ Sauce! I am fortune’s fool!” ‘Twas indeed a missed opportunity to purchase awesomeness in a bottle, but the girl had no fear, for she vowed to return to the Ohio-based grocery chain to claim her prize. After all, there aren’t many things more Bacon Sports in this world than Yuengling Bacon BBQ Sauce.
What are the most Bacon Sports-friendly products you’ve seen in stores? Share yours with us on Twitter @BaconSports or in the comments section!