Man of Steele: Phil Steele’s College Football Bible
If you love college football and are a gambling degenerate this time of year is Christmas come early. Phil Steele’s College Football Preview magazine is about to be released so go grab your lube and box of kleenex and get ready for a marathon session. This preview gives every rabid college football fan the opportunity to make their eyes bleed from reading 352 pages of 4-point font on all 126 NCAA FBS teams and I love it.
Phil Steele is to college football as Wilt Chamberlain was to the art of getting laid. He is Kirk Herbstreit, Mark May, Chris Fowler, Brent Musberger, and Tim Brando all rolled into one. He is so well-versed on every aspect of college football that he could likely tell you what type of dip Mississippi State’s defensive backs coach loves to chew.
His preview has the most absurd list of rankings that I have ever seen and I say that in the most positive way. He covers everything from player rankings by position, to the top 500 freshman by position, to team-by-team special team rankings, to pass efficiency defense rankings. He even ranks the top 4 players at each position by conference just so there is never an argument over who is the 4th best center in the Sun Belt Conference.
Phil (at this point I’m on a first name basis when talking about him) is also quick to throw in each team’s results against the spread for the past five seasons and the various 900-number gambling ads with the obligatory bikini-clad model just to keep things interesting. What more could a sports junkie ask for?
Now he is even selling his own brand of clothing. Watch out Hova! As if 350 color-filled pages of college football porn isn’t enough, why not buy a Phil Steele polo shirt for $19.99. Nothing turns a woman on more than talking about where you go to get your college football statistics and information. He is even selling back issues of his preview magazine dating all the way back to 1995 just in case you want to get nostalgic and dish about Jason White, Jimmy Clausen, or Tai Streets.
Perhaps one of the funniest things about the magazine is Phil’s self-promotion. I have been buying the magazine for over 10 years and in every one of the issues he has proclaimed himself to have “the most accurate preseason magazine” every season. Every year for the past 11 seasons he is always quick to point out that he had Ohio St. picked to win the 2002 Big Ten title and as a dark horse contender for the National Title even though they finished outside of the Top 25 for three straight years prior to 2002. He even dedicates a section in his magazine explaining the analytics behind the rankings. Apparently, Stassen.com has a grading system for college football preview magazines. Who knew? Eat your heart out Lindy’s and Athlon, Phil Steele’s preview is Number #1!
Over the years, he has also expanded his social media presence with a website, Facebook page, and a Twitter handle where you can get even more college football minutiae. Phil rocks college football 24/7/365 and now so can you. He’ll even pop up on sports radio shows and hearing him talk college football is like seeing seeing that kid from the Wizard pull out a power glove and start playing Rad Racer.
Picking up the Phil Steele College Football Preview magazine can definitely be described as overwhelming the first time you see it, but don’t worry. Phil’s gentle and after a few pages and some understanding of all the abbreviations you’ll be hooked. He comes at every team from every angle imaginable and it’s like a sports orgy.
Enjoy. This is as good as it gets for college football fans.