A Letter To Boston Market. We Are So Fighting

Dearest Boston Market,

We are so fighting right now. We’ve been in a relationship for over 3 years and you repay me by closing up shop and leaving the corner of North and Wells without a peep? Things were going so well between us. Every time we saw each other it was utter bliss. You made that feeling in my tummy go away and always left me with a smile on my face.

Now you’re gone.

Gone like the Baltimore Colts, except worse. At least someone got a picture of their moving van leaving town.

You were gone without any goodbyes. Without any extra sides of mac n cheese. Without any cornbread in a doggy bag. Just gone. And with it you took my heart and the hearts of so many people who love you.

Great moments happen at Boston Market. I asked my friend Marty to be the best man in my wedding over some turkey, mac n cheese, and mashed potatoes with gravy. But you already knew that, because you were there. We even took a picture to commemorate the occasion.

He said yes. You looked amazing, as usual.

And the wonderful memories don’t stop there. One magical Saturday after a kickball game, my friend Roberts texted me one of the most heartfelt and touching things one human could text another.

You had me at Boston Matket.

Now with you gone what are we going to do to celebrate a kickball victory and satisfy our craving for Thanksgiving dinner? Whatchu want will no longer be whatchi want. Sure they put in a new Potbelly’s right next door but it’s not the same. They never ask if I want gravy on everything. You do and because of that I can’t quit you.

I know, there will be other Boston Markets. But there will only be one that was three blocks from my house, a perfect distance to walk to. I could just be taking my dog for a stroll and run into you. The sight of those big red letters always had me doing backflips of joy.

With you gone I’m lost.

I’m lost like Kellen Winslow was when he got caught feeding the geese in a Target parking lot because he couldn’t find his Boston Market. His Boston Market probably closed up shop with no warning too. I’ve got a Target right around the corner from me so I hope that this isn’t some sort of withdrawal symptom.

I’m going off the rails on a gravy train and the only way to get back on is for more Boston Market.

I urge you to reconsider this breakup. I’ll forget that it ever happened. I just want you back in my life, like the way it used to be. Whatcha say, one more fling for old times’ sake? I’ll even get extra stuffing, just the way you like it.

Forever yours,

Rob

YOU LIKE BACON, SPORTS & BEER?

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