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Texting and Football: a Fantasy Football Week 9 recap

fantasy-football-week-9-newNo matter what city you live in, we ladies all have similar experiences with meeting guys. You introduce yourself, make small talk, and then hopefully it turns into a conversation where you connect and want to see them again. This is what happens after all of that. This week, I compare the text messages guys send after meeting a girl to football. And if you’re wondering about a phone call, that’s so 2004!

The aggressive approach:

When you meet them out, these guys text you immediately. It may be later that night or the next day. This guy is no stage 5 clinger. We all look at our phones throughout the day and night. We have to check our fantasy football and basketball scores at all times, right? So, Gentleman, why not just send a text sooner than later?

Aggressive was Tom Brady and the Patriots. It’s about time! Sorry Jen, benching your 2nd round pick Brady for Philip Rivers seemed like a good idea this week. But, we knew Brady would break out sooner or later. It only took 8 weeks! It also helped that the Steeler’s defense looked old and out of shape. Maybe Steve Nash should start for them?

Playing it cool:

Waiting 3-4 days after you meet. This is someone who wants you to think he’s cool, but in reality, he’s not. If you fall into this category, my guess is that you probably love using the wink face emoticons in every text you send and are giving a thumbs up in your ED Hardy t-shirt with matching baseball cap on your Facebook profile picture.

Playing it cool was the San Diego Chargers. You had two chances to score on the 1 yard line and instead have to kick a field goal to take the game into overtime figuring you would win the game. Philip Rivers, I know you have 19 kids to worry about, so maybe you were distracted.

Playing games:

Wait 5 days then text saying how busy you’ve been. Unless you are a brain surgeon, an astrophysicist or working as a call center agent for Obamacare, you can’t use that as an excuse. Guess what? We are all busy. And we are dumbfounded that you wait to text us this long.

Dumbfounded was finding out that Justin Blackmon was on the Lamar Odom diet. After breaking out as one of Lauren’s top fantasy receivers and finally giving her a chance, he now is suspended for the rest of the season. Listen NFL, he may have violated the NFL drug policy, but can’t you give him a pass? He plays for Jacksonville for goodness sake. That is punishment enough.

The Good…

Who knew the same quarterback I used to yell at during Arizona football games would make history? My fellow Wildcat was scarier than the dressed-up Darth Vader Raider fans in the Black hole. Nick Foles had as many pass touchdowns against the Raiders as the Raiders have had all season. No, that’s not a joke by the way. Riley Cooper even looked like a stud. Congratulations are in order Riley! Thanks to Richie Incognito, you are no longer the George Zimmerman poster boy of the NFL.

The Bad…

Just when you think you would win this week in fantasy, think again. After DMC exited the game with a hamstring injury (wait, I’m having déjà vu), Lauren knew her loss was inevitable. She pulled a ‘Pete’ from The League and vowed never to play fantasy football again. See ya next week, Lauren.

After losing Arian Foster after one series and then fittingly, losing this week, Meg had to go to the gym for two hours. Get out that frustration girl!

And last but not least, Stephanie had a two point lead going into Monday Night’s game. Sounds like a win. But, after Aaron Rodgers left the game, she ends up losing to Jenna by .03 points. Jenna some advice… Hide your wife, hide your kids, hide your husbands ‘cause Stephanie is looking for you.

The Ugly…

Bye week hell! With six teams on bye, we were forced to play Jake Locker, Alex Smith and Terrelle Pryor, plus (insert random receivers and running backs here). It’s a rite of passage and we all have to go through it, but bye weeks just suck. And on top of that, what happened to our starters Ray Rice, DeMarco Murray and Vincent Jackson?  We girls are taking an ad out on a milk carton with their pictures and writing ‘missing: have you seen me?’.  We all had bad weeks. When at the bar watching football on Sunday, we were screaming and cat fighting out of frustration worse than the Real Housewives of Atlanta.

Love you girls and here’s to being the prim and proper ladies that we normally are in week 10.

-The Commish

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