Well that escalated quickly.
You know that article Deadspin posted yesterday about a cage diving, stylin and profilin’ Craigslist weirdo who was giving away two tickets to Wednesday’s Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals in Chicago? The one that included this post:
Ya, about that. That was us.
Here’s how this whole thing went down and has become a real contest to win tickets to Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals.
Yesterday intern Matt and I were playing ping pong having a brainstorming session and came up with the idea to create a ridiculous Craigslist posting about Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals that no normal, rational person would think is real. We created a character that was supposed to be a combination of the Nature Boy Ric Flair (WOOOO!), Bud Fox, and Zack Morris. We put up the post and like the Ronco Rotisserie Cooker we set it and forget it. The goal was to compile a list of the top 10 best/funniest responses that we received (more on this later).
Craigslist is like some sort of magical unicorn where people think all things are possible. It’s a place where you can trade a paper clip for a house or track down the hottie you saw in the grocery store buying Teddie Grahams that you shared a glance with for half a second. The type of people that respond and/or post to Craigslist ads can be crazier than a gorilla on acid and can have worse decision making skills than Isiah Thomas had as an NBA GM. Aziz Ansari sums up Craigslist perfectly in this bit.
Well apparently people really think that cage diving investment bankers who sound like huge tools give away awesome seats to Stanley Cup Finals games because we received over 100 responses in no time. A few hours in and we (Mr. Flair/Fox/Morris) receive an email from a local Chicago radio station (890 WLS) saying that this posting has received national attention and they’d like to talk about it. Then we found out that Deadspin picked it up. Then we saw it on USA Today Sports, Complex Magazine, and Chicago Magazine as well as heard it on ESPN Radio in Chicago.
Holy smokes Batman.
The thing that makes us laugh is the absurdity of this all (on just about every level).
We watched how the Manti T’eo story unfolded and are not about to go down that path. We are a sports comedy website trying to create unique content and this one might have gotten away from us. That’s why we want to try and add a good ending to this story by running AN ACTUAL CONTEST WHERE YOU CAN WIN TWO FREE TICKETS TO GAME 1 OF THE STANLEY CUP FINALS.
You read that correctly, it’s our peace offering. WE ARE GIVING AWAY TWO TICKETS TO WEDNESDAY’S GAME. We went on
Craigslist hoping to find someone giving away a pair of tickets because they were a rich investment banker Stubhub and bought two standing room only tickets. Here they are.
So here’s what to do:
Create a 30 second or less Youtube video showing us why you should be selected to win the tickets and email the link to firstname.lastname@example.org. Do what you want with this. If it’s Blackhawks related cool. If not that’s fine also. All we care about is the best, most creative, unique and/or funny videos. And no, all you people from Craigslist we are not looking for naked videos. If you don’t have the ability to send us a video then send us the most creative and awesome picture you’ve can take.
We’ll be cutting off submissions on Wednesday at 3 pm (central) and be declaring a winner at 3:30 pm (central). If we choose your video/pic as the winner we’ll notify you and then you have 10 minutes to respond back to us or else we’ll go on to the next person. We’ve got electronic tickets so we’ll be able to email them to you. You must live in Illinois or surrounding area as the game is at 7 pm so there is a quick turnaround.
Before we give you the top 10 responses that we received from the posting (you didn’t think we’d forget about that, did you) we wanted to let you know about the Bacon, Sports & Beer Celebration that we are throwing on Saturday, November 23 at Union Station. Simply put, if you like bacon, sports and beer then you’ll dig it. It’s going to be one of the most delicious, fun, and unique events Chicago has ever seen. Just stop by BaconSportsBeer.com for more info.
Without further ado, here are the top 10 responses that we received from the posting:
- One guy offered his first two born or his wife. Thanks but I don’t think that human trafficking is in my cards. I wouldn’t even know where to start.
- One guy said that he wanted the tickets so that he could sell them for $500 and buy a Burberry watch so that chicks would dig him more. I appreciate the creativity but come on Smalls. Burberry isn’t even known for having dope watches and clearly he is severely undervaluing how expensive these tickets are.
- One guy responded back saying, “cage diving with sharks is like walking past the lion cage at the zoo”. Bravo sir. Very nice analogy though I don’t think I’ve ever seen a lion do this.
- Someone offered to write an entire album of songs based on my life. Winner winner chicken dinner! If you are going to impress a stylin’ and profilin’ limousine ridin’ investment banker then this is how you do it.
- Over 40 naked pictures (not joking, really), some of which were as pleasant as JaMarcus Russell dropping back for a pass. Monday was Kate Upton’s birthday so by no means did we have a shortage of looking at boobs before this.
- One girl didn’t want the tickets, instead she wanted to grab a drink with the investment banker and even help judge the submissions. What is wrong with you people?
- One guy offered this stuffed black bear and to name his boat of me. Not too shabby but where am I going to put a giant black bear? Chicago apartments are about the size of a peanut.
- Someone offered factory sealed Beatle albums. This is sweet minus the fact that this Ric Flair/Bud Fox/Zack Morris cyborg would never listen to the Beatles. He only listens to techno.
- One guy wanted the tickets to impress chicks and one said he would send pics of the party after the game with his lady friend. Didn’t these guys know that this is Craigslist, a place where people will send naked pictures without a second thought?
- How about a space cake minus two pieces?
Later Baconators. Good luck and DON’T FORGET TO SEND IN YOUR VIDEO BY 3 PM ON WEDNESDAY!