Sports

Why it would suck to be a Chicago Cubs fan in Cubs Jerseys

By April 7, 2012 No Comments
Cubs jersey

If you didn’t know, I live in Chicago. I went down to Wrigleyville today not to go to the Cubs game but instead to drink at one (or some) of the bars outside of Wrigley Field. While at Moe’s Cantina (yes, one of the best places to go after a Cubs game to see “drunk/dancing/just out of college/I don’t actually care about the Cubs but I’ll wear their shirt so that I can get drunk with everyone else people” it dawned on me the level of crappyness that was around me.

As a Pirates fan I don’t have much room to talk about how bad another team is, but as a sports fan that’s a whole other thing. Here are five of the Cubs jerseys that I captured Cubs fans wearing at the bar. This says everything about the state of their team over the last 10 years.

Nomar Garciaparra Cubs jersey

Nomar Garciapara jersey (not on current team): He played in only 81 games as a Chicago Cub and over that time he hit 13 HR’s. He was most certainly not the same guy that played with the Red Sox and appeared on this cover of Sports Illustrated. He last played for the Cubs in 2005. This jersey just needs to be washed off you and was like Eyes Wide Shut, you’d rather not remember that it happened.

Mark Prior Cubs jersey

Mark Prior jersey (not on current team): This guy will not give up on this jersey like he won’t ever give up on Mark Prior still having something left in the tank. Mark Prior’s 2003 season was freaking amazing. Really, it was (I had him on my fantasy team that year and still will talk about filthy he was that year). Unfortunately Mark Prior only had one good year because of injuries and left the fans wanting more. He was Cubs fans last real hope at “The One”. He could have been Neo.

Derek Lee Cubs jersey

Derrek Lee jersey (not on current team): Derek Lee was one of the bright spots for the Cubs over the seven years that he was there. Unfortunately, Cubs management traded him to the Atlanta Braves in 2010. You’ve got to love when fan favorite players get traded away so that you can give them a chance at making the playoffs/winning a title. This is called the Ray Bourque. Unlike Bourque, Derrek Lee did not win a title.

Alfonso Soriano Cubs jersey

Alfonso Soriano (currently on team though no one wants him there): This jersey is especially perplexing because if you are a real Cubs fan there is no way that you are happy that this guy is still on your team. The Cubs still owe him $54 million for the next three years and Soriano is 36 years old (supposedly). In NBA terms this is what it felt like to have Theo Ratliff’s contract on the books. It’s only going to get worse for Cubs fans with Soriano.

Kerry Wood Cubs jersey

Kerry Wood (currently on the team): He was supposed to be Mark Prior’s Robin (Prior was Batman). The year that Prior went all Mark Fidrych on major league baseball Kerry Wood also went buck wild. He struck out an NL high 266 batters. Insert some injuries and Wood never came close to being that same pitcher. Some people will see this jersey and think of resilience, but if I know Cubs fans they probably look at this and think of disappointment. Sure Kerry Wood is a fan favorite and took less money to pitch here this year but the Kerry Wood on the Cubs movie did not end up like it had the potential to (at least one Cy Young and a very good chance at a World Series). Instead of being White Men Can’t Jump he turned out to be Semi-Pro.

There you have it sports fans. That’s what the current state of Chicago Cubs fans looks like right now. Gross.

As always, if you see a random jersey on the street snap a pic and send it to us on Instagram or Twitter @BaconSports and use #randomjersey. Click here to check out the most comprehensive guide to random jerseys ever.

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Rob Cressy

Rob Cressy

Sports loving free throw specialist and yinzer living in Chicago who is awesome most of the time, has run with the bulls in Spain, and is a graduate of Second City's Improv program.