It is that time of year again clones where the almighty Jungle rears it’s focus to the famed Smack Off. Jim Rome has adopted us as his step-children. We don’t listen. We rebel and we most certainly are dysfunctional. However, we are a family with many colorful clone legends who come out of their day jobs to crack on each other in the hopes of being King of the Jim Rome Jungle.
The latest cat to be in control over the past several years is the witty, taunting, fast paced Brad in Corona. He runs the fast break on his jungle phone vine leaving us all speechless and most certainly the caller on queue after him fearing for their life. Most likely they do pull the rip cord on either end of a “Brad” rant call.
This year also presents the asterisk win of 2012 Champ *allegedly* Chael Sonnen. His challenge is to defend his crown while “claiming” to be one of us which he clearly is not.
Chael, we are preparing the Jungle IQ Test homie. Let’s see how you score in categories of “define that gloss” and “what’s that sound byte.” You won’t fair well so I’ll leave your carcass to the boys of Jungle lore: the aforementioned champions and the “others” being @Silkbrah, Boatie, Brothers Esquire and Doc Mike, Flamian, Iafrate and many more especially the winner every year of his OWN Smack Off, Terrance in Sierra Madre.
Terrance is my all-time favorite caller. He always sounds like he just rolled out of bed, makes it seem a HUGE inconvenience to his life to grace us all with his sports takes. Terrance, OUR MAN, this is YOUR year Poppa. Here’s a little taste of Terrance.
What this eludes to is that discombobulated debacle of a hush hush settlement reached by Lance Thomas and Rafaello & Co. Wow. Really? The amount of responsibility taken by either party in this latest scandal is zero. In this time of coming correct, especially on the heels of the Lance Armstrong scandal, NOW more than ever, we really question who is REAL and who is trying to beat the system.
Duke is historically known for sweeping scandal under the rug before anyone can blink. Early morning practices NEVER exist just like that plane in the movie “A Few Good Men” didn’t exist. Who orders the “Code Red” at Duke must be one helluva devil. They need him on that line. They want him on that line. Dial it back Duke fan. Perfection is only attainable by those who believe in truth and honor as spoken here. Tommy Armstrong Jr. of Cibolo Steele Knights HS Fame and now Nebraska hopeful encompasses an athlete driven by heart and passion not the almighty jack.
And Duke. As if your university has never been betrothed in scandal before, you sure know how to wear that smock well. It’s ladened with ego and a false sense of righteousness. Duke, the only people you’re fooling are yourselves. Keep preaching that humble squeaky clean image while we all shake our heads in dismay. It wouldn’t hurt for one scandal to be conceded and oh my my, maybe some victims will be vindicated. I mean, all universities should be about education, excellence and dignity and NOT about profits, cash and an impervious dodge of prosecution.
The truth is to Duke University what a non-truth is to Penn State. We know. YOU know. Now LET’S GO. Come out with the admissions of wrongdoing and bring that ship back to Earth where you belong you silly silly athletic program. May I conclude this by saying this is SO not about hate but about what’s right and fair.
This opportunity brings me to mention a charity in need. We should all be grateful for what we have and help those less fortunate. At this time I ask those to help my home state of TX by helping those still recovering in West TX. They are on the road to re-building but have a long way to go. Here is what you can do and know it is much appreciated.
Peace out Baconators.
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