My favorite guilty pleasure sports movie is The Replacements, which I usually will watch right as football season is upon us. I routinely visualize Shane Falco running awkwardly onto the field as the second half of the Sentinels-Ropers game begins to a mad ovation as a team of “replacement” players look to erase a seventeen point halftime deficit. There are precious few moments in my life where anyone acknowledges my entrance through the front door, let alone starts a fevered chant of “BIERNACKI! BIERNACKI!”
On that note, the 2013 NFL Season kicked off and it looks like many of the fantasy greats we roster could have used the same “hand product” as speedster Washington Sentinels WR Clifford Franklin. It seemed like every game you flipped to, someone’s fantasy teams were being ruined by a lost fumble and subsequent benching. Here is the list of fantasy relevant players that lost a fumble (and cost their owners two points in the process) in Week 1 action:
Wes Welker, Julio Jones, Isaac Redman, Tom Brady, Stevan Ridley, CJ Spiller, Doug Martin, Russell Wilson, DeAngelo Williams, Carson Palmer, Jared Cook, Eddie Lacy, David Wilson (twice), Michael Vick and Alfred Morris.
While it should come as no surprise that Palmer and Vick lost fumbles, the real surprise is that Philip Rivers, the Jacksonville Jaguars and the Oakland Raiders didn’t! Here are a few of my favorite fantasy tidbits from Sunday:
The Jaguars actually led Kansas City 2-0 early on before allowing 28 unanswered points and eventually losing 28-2. My favorite stat in this game was the Jags defense ending the day as the team’s leading fantasy scorer, at 5.0 standard points. You cannot make up how bad this team is. I actually imagine the Jaguars offensive huddle looked like this on Sunday. Look for MJD to fake an injury sooner rather than later.
If you had Jackie Battle scoring the first Tennessee Titans touchdown of the season, contact me directly so I can get lottery numbers. Seriously, how is Jackie Battle still employed and put in position to score touchdowns? Like Chris Johnson owners needed another thing to worry about. Ugh.
The Miami Dolphins had twenty yards rushing against Cleveland. As a team. On twenty three carries. Five pass catchers in this game had individual receptions of twenty yards or more. Oh yeah, Miami won the game.
I wanted to get back to David Wilson for a quick second. Think about this, faithful reader: you, while watching the Cowboys-Giants game, accumulated more fantasy points than David Wilson did.
Without further ado, here are my Week 2 Plays/Stays:
Lamar Miller, RB Miami Dolphins
I swear this is not a knee jerk reaction to Miller’s brutal game against Cleveland. Yes, he had three yards on ten carries. I actually consider the Cleveland Browns defense a better than average unit who will be competitive in losing this season. Indianapolis is not a stout defense by any stretch, but they held Darren McFadden, who is actually better than Miller, to a paltry 2.8 yards per carry.
Considering Miller was, on average, the twentieth RB taken in drafts this offseason and is now in a time share with the talentless Daniel Thomas, I’m holding Miller out of my lineups until the time share goes away or Thomas inevitably gets hurt while taking a power nap. STAY
Terrelle Pryor, QB Oakland Raiders
Once the center of the tattoo scandal that cost College Football fans the Alabama-Ohio State matchup we should have seen in last season’s National Championship game, Terrelle Pryor is attempting to make something out of himself as a Raider. The matador-esque blocking style of the Oakland offensive line caused Pryor to take off running for his life thirteen times for a whopping 112 yards (8.6 yards per rush). Ole!
Considering he has a home game on the infield dirt vs. an extremely weak Jacksonville Jaguars unit that allowed Alex Smith to scamper for 25 yards at 6.3 yards per carry, I can see him again crossing the 200 yard passing/75 yard rushing marks with sporadic touchdowns sprinkled in. If you are dealing with the questions surrounding Tony Romo’s ribs, or you are scared to play either Russell Wilson or Colin Kaepernick in terrible match-ups, Pryor is likely available on the waiver wire and is a great fill in. PLAY
Joique Bell, RB Detroit Lions
I am what you call a “Joique Bell fan”. I like him last year way more than I liked Mikel Leshoure, and when Reggie Bush came to Motown, I thought Bell could be the perfect complement to what Bush would bring to the Lions offense and he proved me right last Sunday. On only eleven touches, Bell accumulated 92 total yards and two touchdowns. We all know Detroit gets stopped at the one yard line more than any other team, and Bell is clearly the goal-to-go RB.
Given that Bush is already banged up and Leshoure continues to be a healthy scratch, I like Bell to see more and more touches as we get deeper into the season. I’ll go bold and say Bell gets you 75 total yards and a score this week against a pretty good Arizona defense. PLAY
Follow me on Twitter @BernacK6 and we can talk about fantasy football.
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