Sports

Ridiculous Super Bowl prop bets for degenerates

By January 30, 2013 No Comments
kobe bryant alicia keys

kobe bryant alicia keysWhat happens when you give sports writers and bookies way too much time to think about the biggest sports day of the year? They come up with ridiculous things to bet on.

Below, are some of our favorite odd prop bets for Sunday. Keep in mind, none of these are jokes, they are all real bets that you can actually put money on. Enjoy, degenerates.

Times “Harbaugh” will be said during the game (over/under: 21.5)
Anyone who has read what I’ve written in the past knows that I’m thinking this one will go way over before kickoff. Get ready to get really sick of that last name.

Who will the MVP of the game thank first? (Teammates: 5/4, God: 5/2, Coach: 12/1, Family: 12/1, Owner: 15/1, Doesn’t Thank Anyone: 9/4)
My gut tells me this one is going to the big guy up-stairs. Especially if the MVP is Ray Lewis, who has his own prop bet for how many times he will reference God in interviews post game (over/under 3.5).

Will Alicia Keys be booed? (Yes: 5/1)
Keys is singing the national anthem this year. If Christina Aguilera didn’t get booed for butchering the thing while soldiers in Afghanistan looked on, Keys probably has a good chance of making it out alright.

Who will score more points on Sunday, Kobe Bryant against the Detroit Pistons, or the San Francisco 49ers against the Baltimore Ravens? (Kobe Bryant -0.5: -110)
My Lakers insider tells me that the new and improved Kobe doesn’t like to shoot anymore and only wants to pass the ball. Even playing against the well-hyped Ravens defense, Colin Kaepernick should be able to out-score a Kobe that isn’t trying to score. Then again, Kobe is playing Detroit.

Will any Baltimore or San Francisco player be arrested during the week before the game? (Yes 5/1)
I would love to put a joke here about Ray Lewis killing someone, but he is already having a bad week, and I’m scared of him.

Who will Barack Obama pick to win the game? (Ravens: -200, 49ers: +150)
The well renowned homer will ruin all bets when he selects the Chicago Bears and refuses to acknowledge that they are not in the game.

There you have it, 6 great bets for the Super Bowl and not one is about the playing football part of the game. If you ever needed proof that gambling is an addiction, I think this is it. Have fun.

OTHER ARTICLES YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE: